Honey.. I'm home!

ok so i havent been here in ages.. so:

HELLO

I don't know why i am here at 3.45 in the morning. maybe when Farah nagged at me about not updating my blogger, it actually bothered me. HAha. So well i'm here. I just realised it has been more than five months and many things have happened. What has changed? Alot of things. And unfortunately i hate to admit it, the change is for the worst. I am just different in a bad way. I managed to put a stop to problems but the aftermath is like shit. I'm abit like shit. I think i'm, not even nice to anyone anymore... but

I promise that i'm trying to work on it so i'm tryna focus everything on school, projects, exams and Valemont!

Watch Valemont on mtv.com and let mtv knows it deserves a second season. you boyfriend stealers: Leonardo wilson is MINE.

I got a new lappy since the last post by the way :)

My lappy died on me.
i seek refuge in this super huge computer.
I am supposed to finish my report but i am in no mood to do so.
I'm in no mood to do anything as a matter of fact.
I joke about many things but lately i find it difficult to be in good humour.
Not that i'm grouchy or angry, i just dont feel like i can laugh or smile as much.
Unless its when re-telling the experiences of the last two and a half months.
Today marks the one week of being back in singapore.
Yet all i can replay in my mind is saying goodbye to everyone in Myanmar.
I miss everybody everyone.
I'm having the blues.
Its tough.

I feel different.
So very different.

The Ultimate Change

My little boy is so cute he reminds me of tomatoes and round apples.
HAHA.

I know that i've been mandalay-sick lately but i do feel happy being with my family. There are many things i am grateful for over here. I learnt alot thanks to friends,colleagues and the supervisors. But nothing beats by learning through observing and interacting with the locals. They are inspiring in their own ways.

there are many events that is still super crystal clear in my mind:
my birthday
conversations with uncle anthony
waterfalls
saicar rendezvous with yawen
staff room blackout
specky
bug infestation of my room
my bbs
the bus
thingyan
going to the market
city mart
cafe jj
blue taxis
"myanmar ama'" haha
speaking myanmar
"Ms Sofia!!!" by my little ones
jeff's emo moments
fong's robert-james moment
Mr No Need Parcel
waiting for the internet to work
great wall shopping centre
eating sardines on saturdays
mr han's appointment (haha)
laughing with everyone
seeing the sunrise and mountains every morning
my students running and hugging me tight
my morning kiss
singing the school song
photocopy
Dinner with ms may
running from ei ei for substitution classes
listening to ms siti's multiple=language translation
me and yawen fighting over who should bathe first (haha)
the bitchy money changer uncle who gives us money
the beauty of the place, the people
the spitting of sireh
sexy longyi man
just everything else

haiz. but what to do?

I came to this page with so many things to write about.
But they just disappear once i start to try to put them into words.
Myanmar
Family
Just us.

I sleep hoping that when i wake up I'm in mandalay.
I am going crazy with that home-sick feel.
I never thought two months could change my life so much.
My body is in Singapore but i feel like i left my heart somewhere else.
So much attachments there.
Help.


"No need parcel."

Today i realised there are many people i didnt say goodbye properly to.
I guessed that i thought by cutting short the goodbyes it makes it easier for me to leave.
But today i realised it sucks that i didnt!
When they add me in gmail and stuff and tell me that they wished to talk to me and stuff i couldnt believe the opportunities i've pushed away.
I guess everything happens for a reason.
My students have been the greatest joy apart from spending time with the other locals.
Saying goodbye to them was really difficult.
Its crazy but we all go through it at one point of our life.
Send me back to that place.

love,
Sofia

I am finally home.
I thought i would be jumping with joy.
But it lasted only for awhile.
I'm mixed up about being home.
I am both happy and sad.
I want to be both here and in myanmar.
I think yawen share how i feel.

I MISS MY STUDENTS AND TEACHERS!!

Taking a leap of faith with just... faith.

hello world.
I guess this is it huh.
In about eight hour or so i'll be at the airport with my beloveds.

Yesterday so many things happened to me.
But it let me gauge my growth.
I know for sure that i am no longer the same me i was yesterday
I stopped a fight and managed to get the police to come.
I took responsibility over something that happen that doesnt involve myself.
I stood up to lazy fucks who just shrug off responsibilities.
I spoke my mind and was honest with a guy who lied to me.
I manage to control my anger although i was bloody pissed off.
I gave a liar a chance to make amends.

I dunno why but i can still feel the bitter taste.
I thought i could leave my past behind.
But what can i do when my past catches up with me?

Amy, i give you this last chance. Dun fuck up.
One mistake. Just one and you're out of my life for real.
But i dun regret giving this chance.
In the end, i dont want to keep on losing people that were important to me.

I do however, feel at loss that i could not be there for my nephew's cukur rambut.
For birthdays that i'd miss.
For the reunions i'd be absent for.

The last few days i have to be honest, i have been crying like fuck.
I realise that because i was wrong.
I thought i had nothing to lose.
But in actual fact i had everything i could wish for.

I love everyone of you who has been there for me.
Pray for my safety.
I'll always think of you.

lovelove,
Sunshine

I want my mummy.

Insomnia

So lets countdown 24+12=36
36 hours more and then pooooof!
I'm gone. HAHA.

I havent been able to sleep the last few days.
Its really pushing me to the limits.

I really really adore my nephew.
He is sooooooooooooo cute.

There were times when i am convinced that i have really given up on love and then i heard craig david's insomnia and i feel like i am in love again.

lovelove,
Sunshine

Leap of Faith

hello world.
I dunno how to really feel about leaving.
As the hour draws nearer, i'm going like
"is this for real?"
But it is what it is.
And i'm sure for all of us,
its about taking a leap of faith,
to leave our comfort zone,
to learn something way out of our depth.
I'm actually leaving in a few more hours.
Oh my god!

Today went out with a few of the K707.
It was simple but fun.
We have all finally reached year 3 together.
It was nice to just observe the close-ness of the class.
We laughed and chitchat and despite our many personalities,
i felt that we have a nice relationship going on.
I hope they are going to miss us!!
HAHA. Because i'm gonna miss every single one of them.

I'm k.o-ing now.
Good night my loves.

Lovelove,
Sunshine

one of the most complex things about relationships with other human beings is that we cannot be judgemental. With globalization and the acceptance of almost anything everything, it has become difficult i think, to define and draw the moral line. We apply this same concept in our everyday lives, at least for those of us who do, things go smoothly for people surrounding us. We see less friends hurt, less family hurt. And although we do feel the pinch sometimes, accepting things we actually cannot accept, we feel great that we just do, knowing that at least we give other people a chance to be different and good.

I was so close to being in love many times, but when i understood the difference in our lifestyle, philosophies, beliefs and everything else, i learnt to accept and be realistic.

It just wont work.

YOu know what? I actually feel ok.

Sanguine

This is the word that best describes you! The dictionary meaning of the adjective sanguine' is cheerfully optimistic! You are usually happy and manage to turn most negative situations into positive ones. Your happy-go-lucky, impulsive and adventurous personality makes you fun to be around although some people mistake your self-confidence for arrogance. Your sanguine disposition will help your life be a happy one; just be wary of dreaming about castles in the sky and forgetting to focus on reality.

Ugly world

Hello world.

It seems as if as the day comes closer to leaving i am not sure its what i really want. It feels as if i should have just saved the thousands and go for a getaway or something. I feel out of place and nothing anyone says can make me feel better. Not that anyone said anything to me. Could it be that i made the decision too early without realising what i've placed myself into?

I will stick to it anyway. Not much of a choice.

It used to be that i do not know what to do. But i'm pretty sure right now i know what i want to do. I know what i didnt like, and i am going to change that.

I realised one more thing today. Not only did i hate secondary school, i also hated ELDDS. I hated most of my teachers. I hate all student organisations. They all represent the same thing. BS. Fucking pretense. I dont know why i was so dumb as to succumb to the four years of shitty-environment. I should have been vocal and piss everyone that i could.

I realised that i hate surprises. I love them because of the intentions. But i hate the surprise itself.

I really like being by myself. I actually do. SOmetimes it gets depressing. But atleast i do not need people around me to be comfortable. People always say things about me like i'm anti-social. I'm not. I just hate mixing around with typical-typicals and i feel better when there's less crowd. I dont happen to fit in with the "norms" because i'm like that. Then so what? You call me "weird" and "loner" and "crazy" only because i don't do the same things you do. But in actual fact i make more sense than you do. You just dont pay attention.

I hate the fact that the world gets uglier every second.

I hate people who don't care about the right things. I hate people who are morally handicapped, not because of their upbringing but out of choice.

I hate not having much choices.

I'm going out!

Yayay!
Finally i am going out of this house for some ME-Time.
Its only a few more days yet i feel like as if i am not leaving
this country.
I haven even started packing or shopping.
Its been really trying and tiring the last few days.
But today i'm going to do all the deeds.
I already did my things to buy list like a ten-fifteen days ago.
hahaha.

I gotta go get ready.
HAve a good day everyone.

And thanks farlina for being there for me.

Love,
Sunshine

Awwwwweeesommmmmmeeeeee!

AWESOME!

i am

AWESOME!

hahaha.
yayay!

first distinction.
i'm kissing my ass as of today.

it has been confirmed..
I'm
AWESOME!

And because i am happy and delighted,
i shall share with you the cutest thing i've ever laid eyes on,
my lucky charm,
our little kitten:

The POST-era

okay people,vote: happy post or angry post?
HAppy post?
Ok well lemmmessee.
The baby is such a bundle of joy.
And its not just because books that i read describe babies as such,
but because i like to see the baby bundled tight and being carried by
one of my family members.
Especially my daddy.
So naturally calming, the effect works on the baby as well!!
These few days have also been a really hardcore family moment.
There are times when i go "stop bossing me around bitches!"
haha. But its all good.

I also took my immunization jabs.
I swear the last time i went for a jab, it was A JAB.
This time three separate needles.
And for someone who hates being touched, even by the skinniest of needles,
i was really a happy person.
My sister was like "alah, kau ingat tak that time kan they combine the vaccines into one syringe. No sweat lah. We go for all three k."
Yah right.
So that was the joke of the day.
But it made me laugh every time i remember being injected.
1,2,3 breathe in breathe out.
1,2,3 breathe in breathe out.
1,2,3 breathe in breathe out.
DAMN.

ok the next thing i'm gonna say is both a happy and sad thing.
I finished watching all the action movies and all the books i wanted to read.
I'm left with -nil- items to do.
On my very little free time that is.
With the taking charge of cleaning and serving,
i feel like the runner in a restaurant by the way,
i've only got time for trivial entertainment.
And oh god, no music please.

I got to go now.
toodles.
sunshine

bring me to bora bora or maldives now.
my life mcm shit seh right now.
pressure pressure pressure.
Not fair not fair.

Rockn Rolla

Rock-a-by-baby.
Well yes the baby is now at home finally.
Asleep.
A cute little thing.
i Want to post up pictures but then i think "too young for exposure."
Life has been crazy.
Haven;t had any fun yet since the holidays because
everything just happens at one shot.
I did get to meet up with a few people though.
Farlina and my socio mates.
Yesterday i met botak and cloudy and we had a good time talking.
Like old friends, we are all doing our own things,
planning for future meet-ups.
I think the holiday blues applies to planet too.
She and i are just squeezing every second to enjoy our hols.
Too bad hers would end on monday.
Not that mine is any better.
I'm going to drag my father for shopping asap.
Not fair.
I'm still the baby of the club ok.
I cant wait to pack.
Did i tell you my nephew is cute?
SUPER CUTE!
Still it doesnt change the situation much.
He's the only exception to the No-BABY rule.

oh and how can i forget,
yesterday another baby turned 19!
Happy Birthday Sabrina!

love,
Sunshine

The will the will...

There is no such things as balancing relationships.
So fuck relationships.
Its so full of shit and lies.
"No, i wont take you for granted"
is the same as
"I'm a straightforward guy"
so let me tell you it hurts that you're not around anymore.
And no matter what you say you really wont be.
I dun like to be a third wheel and i dun like
a third wheel anywhere around me.
So its either you and me or nothing.
I'm so tired of this shit.

So funny how life works.
try to deal and be cool with this people
hhmmmm.. but nothing really helps.
----------------------------

A few more hours and its a celebration of a lifetime awaiting.
I hope.
We're waiting with love.

Love,
Sunshine

Thicker than blood

I hate hating but i cannot help myself.
All there is to it is that ounce of respect.
Once i see anything that i feel is too much i will
not stay humble and then they will realise
it really too late to apologise.

Lost generation

i Was reading Yawen's blog and came across this video.
I decided that i should post the video here because i believe in its cause.
Its something i care about and its an issue that i feel is very important.
Its a cool video so do watch it if you haven't.



I know many teens are not even bothered about issues of the world.
I wish it changes and that we can all do something to make this a better place.

Break's Here

Hello world.
I have just ended my exams! yay!
no, i am not sure if i did well for my exams,
but I"VE GOT BIG NEWS!
I've chaged my hollywood crush to

JUSTIN LONG



yummy. so delicious!

lovelove,
Sunshine

My Gf's Bday

fitty and me




nana and fitty

(pics courtesy of nana adam)

It was shimi's birthday on 17th and we had dinner. Unfortunately i was lazy to upload any new pics so, no pics of her. haha.

i got loads to say but am lazy to do so.

Anyhoo just listening to radio and MUGGIN' for the exams.
wish me luck folks.
And of course good luck to you too. :)

love,
Sunshine

My Vday

-beep-
the first person to msg me on this very single day of my life.
i replied and afterwards i realised i wasnt supposed to.
haha.
i then spent some time just rolling on the bed,
staring at the ceiling feeling almost free from school.
i bathed and went to the market.
after which i went over to my sister's place to play badminton.
let me tell you, all that kitkats and kinder bueno i got from dad, mum and my brother in law really punished me like crazy. after 1 hour i out of breath already!!!
which is a great disappointment.
But something changed.
A small little boy wanted to join our game.
HE's super lah.
he can take us both down.
That's when i used my magic to play.
HAha. I'm not tired anymore.
But still you guys should have seen him play.
He can really make you cry.
I was like "please shuttle cock, if he hit you, don't come near me."
Mercy begging play but we did well after we got used to his tactics.
WEEEEE.
And now, i'm gonna spend the rest of my valentine with my sister, her husband and the baby.
We're going to have ice cream later on.
My treat.
:)
Valentine's day wasn't so bad after all.
I hoped it remains this way for the rest of my life.
So simple and blissful.

Lovelove,
Sunshine.

VAlentine's Special.

I got a card from Zhi Min in the morning. It was really sweet of her. Very thoughtful.

During the presentation, farah gave me her sweater because i was cold.

Then after the presentation me and Fong finally had lunch. Just the two of us. It has been tough for us the last few months but we pulled through. And we really enjoyed the conversation and the food.

I went home and K.O.ed for a few hours to meet shima. AND THEN! she gave me a paper bag from newurbanmale. Inside it was a Vday card and flipflops. he he. YAY!

Thank you girls for making my day fabulous.

Some ministers..

minister or transport: Mr Raymond Lim
minister of trade: Mr Lim Hng Kiang
- minister of state: Lee Yi Shyan
-senior minister of state: S Iswaran
Minister of defence: Mr Teo Chee Hean
Minister of Community Development, Youth and Sports: Dr Vivian Balakrishnan
-minister of state: Mrs Yu-Foo Yee Shoon
Minister for Finance: Mr Tharman Shanmugaratnam
Minister of Education: Dr. Ng Eng Hen
Minister of Foreign Affairs: Mr George Yong-Boon Yeo
Minister of Health: Mr Khaw Boon Wan
Minister of Environment and Water Resources: Dr Yaacob Ibrahim

-ve Response

What aggravates me is when someone does this when you're talking about social/human rights.
"I don't care".

or
"huh? really? oh is it?"

or
"it doesnt affect me what"

Fuck you lah.

------------------------------------

I just feel that we are young, and we should be concerned not just for ourselves, but every being that deserves some justice. Stop being selfish and Stop taking things for granted. I know we are allowed to have different opinions, but when it comes to being compassionate towards social issues and stuff, there must be some lines drawn to where that difference lies. For example, having compassion and nil compassion. I'm so mad.

I lost my handphone

i lost my phone.
So if there's anything just email me.

love,
Sunshine

Different Os

I don't agree i applying bias to people such as "women, pattern all the same".
I know that if i start on this debate it will go on forever.
So i will not explain but just state that fact.

Today i was very blessed to be able to hang out with my girlfriends of more than six years. Its always fun because they are really great people to spend time with, laughter and stuff. I will post pictures as soon as i get from shima. HAHA.

I decided today that i am quite happy with where i am right now. I mean i want to do great things and continue to achieve everything i strive out to do. But i'm pretty happy with the fact that i'm here now, still ok, trying to always better myself to serve and lead. Its rough, and i have been rough to certain people but its good you know.

The discussion i had with a few people totally was a wake up call for me. That i have made a stupid mistake which i am not proud of, but i cannot rewind time and i made the right decisions too, so i wont slap myself and be remorseful anymore. The past is meant to be what it is. I am no longer going to be guilty of anything i did not do wrong and i shall be brave to stand up for the truth. The truth in which I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY FAILURE. I'm going to really close that chapter and forget the "what ifs". It time to move on. And i know "What Ifs" will create this longing and undying curiosity about possibilities. In the end, curiosity kills and I HAVE DECIDED TO LIVE.

I'm going to make sure i think better everytime i do something, everytime i make a decision. And cut down on rubbish talk.

Love,
Sunshine

Annual Meeting in Davos 2009

As many of y'all have heard, the Turkish Prime Minister walked out of the debate after being cut short of every conversation and was not given opportunity to make his case. Personally, i'm in favour of some of the things he said and i stand by the believe that killing from either Gaza(HAMAS) or Israeli is not right.

What appalled me was these comments i read from various people.
1) Turkish Minister did that to raise support for their local elections.
I am not up-to-date with their political affairs but i do not think that talking about issues concerning other people's death and welfare is a good selling point for someone with political ambitions. I think Mr Erdogan is simply stating things as it is and said it with heartfelt emotions and concern and compassion towards victims of the war.

2)Turkish minister is a hypocrite because of the Cyprus affair in 1974.
Dudettes, dumb or what? Yes, there was something going on in cyprus that is similar-looking to this Gaza war. But right now we are talking about things that are currently happening in this world, not some background history. Even though if the history is being brought up, it doesnt make him a hyppocrite. He was not prime minister then, he had no say on the humanitarian situation or the war. But NOW that he is a prime minister and a representative of people, his people, and others who do not believe in war and violence, he represented strongly and without fear of criticisms. Things of the past, although bitter, doesnt make the future taste the same. Different people, different reasons, different beliefs anf philosophies. I think its unbearable injustice to say things like that of the minister.

3)I think they said something about how its self-defence. The war is self-defence.
My point is this. If you're saying its self-defence it should work with this principle: they fire ten rockets, you fire back ten rockets. they killed 13 men, you kill 13 men. WHY do you have to make them pay more than you? 13 israelis' lives for the 1300 palestinians is no compensation. better still, don't fucking even kill people by waging war.

4) That they have no sense of peace and freedom like the palestinians.
YOu think the palestinians feel all safe now?

--------------------------------------------------------

This is an excerpt from the bowen's diary from BBC.
One of the best journals that i read about the war because he writes from both sides of the world and report issues that matters. There's more of his journals online.


Bowen diary: The days before war

BBC Middle East Editor Jeremy Bowen is writing a diary of the conflict between Hamas and Israel.

Smoke billows over Gaza on January 10 as seen from Israel/Gaza border
Smoke billows over Gaza as Israel's offensive enters a third week

10 January, Tel Aviv airport

I am going to London for a very quick break. I have now spent two weeks looking over the border at the war in Gaza, unable to get in.

The only foreign journalist Israel has allowed into Gaza in the last fortnight was a cameraman, my friend Sarge from the BBC, who went in for a day with the army.

My last visit was a week or so before the formal end of the ceasefire on 19 December.

I try to visit places in the Middle East that are newsworthy at times when I don't actively have to do a story. It is easier to have a proper talk when you don't have a deadline and a camera breathing down your neck.

I am sitting on an airliner on a beautiful Tel Aviv winter morning, with the takeoff delayed because Heathrow Airport is iced-up and fog-bound.

I am going through my notebook from that last trip to Gaza. A fortnight later, the war started. Bearing in mind what is happening now, it is interesting to see what was being said then.

'Quick getaway'

I sat with Mahmoud Zahar, who is considered the most influential Hamas political leader in Gaza, at his home in a big reception room, about the size of a tennis court. I'll very surprised if it is still standing.

It was furnished with chairs all around the walls, in the typical local style, but it had a big garage door at one end.

Two 4x4s were parked next to it, inside the room. He said it was in case the Israelis were coming and he needed a quick getaway. They were parked nose in, so they would have to reverse out.

Dr Zahar had just heard on the BBC that Barack Obama had a plan to visit a Muslim country early in his term. He seemed pleased.

Mahmoud Zahar
Dr Zahar says an Islamic empire will stretch from Nigeria to Indonesia one day
"Barack HUSSEIN Obama," he said, pronouncing the President-elect's name with relish.

"Change in the US is good for the Palestinian people, not because of Obama, but because of the absence of Bush... If he's going to start reconciliation then it's good for America... But Obama will be a friend of Israel... We can't expect an angel from the US side. He'll be under the control of the Zionist lobby."

Police from the rival Palestinian faction Fatah were arresting Hamas people in the West Bank and confiscating weapons. Dr Zahar wasn't bothered.

"The arrests aren't damaging... Weapons are cheap but our people are precious - and they haven't changed their minds."

'Magic word'

He was just as dismissive about Ehud Barak, Israel's defence minister ("a criminal"), Israeli president Shimon Peres ("a big liar") Salam Fayyad, the Prime Minister of the rival Palestinian government in Ramallah ("he's in London getting his latest orders") - and rude, too, about Mahmoud Abbas, the Palestinian president ("he won't get a state, he's just a bodyguard for Israel".)


Weapons are cheap but our people are precious - and they haven't changed their minds
Mahmoud Zahar

But Dr Zahar didn't want to talk much about current events. Instead he went to a globe on a table nearby, and showed me how one day an Islamic empire would stretch from Nigeria to Indonesia.

"Identity is the magic word" he said. "Religion gives you identity... And resistance is a sense of belief... Our dignity was deeply affected by the establishment of Israel."

What about the future? "We'd accept a state in the West Bank and Gaza, without recognising Israel."

Then I went to see the Hamas political advisor Ahmed Yousef in his office in a scruffy concrete building, about half a dozen stories high.

A signboard propped on the dusty ground outside said it was the foreign ministry.

'Nothing to lose'

Since an Israeli raid into Gaza on 4 November tension had been very high, and Hamas had resumed rocketing Israel.

A Grad rocket had been fired at Ashkelon, the Israeli town north of Gaza.

"It was just a signal, aimed at the outskirts."

Would Israel invade? "We don't care. We have nothing to lose. People are dying already because of a lack of supplies. It's not just military action that kills."

What about renewing the ceasefire? "There's no decision yet, we're consulting about what will happen on 19 December."

What sort of ceasefire is it if you're still under siege? "If Israel had good intentions about the ceasefire it would have been serious about easing the tension... Their generals show toughness by keeping the killing cycle going. The guy with more Palestinian blood on his hands has a better chance to win."

Barack Obama
Hamas leaders hoped change in the US would be good for Palestinians

What about Obama? "We've heard talk of change and we hope Middle East policy will be changed. Let's wait and see. We'd like someone to take the Palestinian issue seriously. Remember the hare and the tortoise. He needs to be the tortoise, not the hare. Don't leave it to the end."

Why should Obama get involved? "If the US doesn't change, nothing will change, because the Palestinian question is the mother of all conflict, and if there is no change, anti-American sentiment should increase.... Israel isn't interested in peace, just in managing the conflict."

It was a Friday, so the ministry was almost empty. Ahmed Yousef is an engaging man. He likes talking about the books he's written and the ones he's working on.

As I left the foreign ministry I saw they still hadn't fixed a bullet hole in the front door, which I assumed had been there since the shoot-outs between Hamas and Fatah in the summer of 2007.

It would have been a waste of time anyway. A couple of days into the war, Israel destroyed the building with a very big bomb.

Degrees of danger

I got back into the BBC armoured vehicle with Hamada Abu Qammar, who is one of our Gaza producers.

You may have heard him on the BBC from Gaza in the last two weeks. As the correspondents can't get in, Hamada and his colleague Rushdi Abu Alouf are on broadcasting duties.

Hamada is a charming guy who taught English at a UN school before he turned to journalism. Early in the war, he told me he had evacuated his family from their home in a refugee camp. It turned out they had moved a few hundred yards.

In Gaza, where it is now about degrees of danger since there's nowhere safe, every yard counts.

Bleak prospects

The last appointment, a quick one as I had to get back to the Erez crossing before it closed, was with John Ging. He runs the Gaza operations of Unrwa, the UN agency that looks after Palestinian refugees.

John is a dedicated and intense Irishman. He was bleak about the prospects for Gaza, and seething with frustration about Israel's behaviour during the five-month ceasefire. It didn't let Unrwa fill up its warehouses.

"We were not allowed to reconstitute our stocks during the ceasefire... That belies the Israeli argument about security. They didn't allow stocks in when the ceasefire was on."

"The Israelis were fully informed of the situation. For five months we were not allowed to reconstitute our reserves. So when the ceasefire broke down we ran out of food for the 750,000 who depend on us. Access for food and medicine is problematic "
John Ging
John Ging runs the UN agency that looks after Palestinian refugees

"We tell the Palestinians that rockets are illegal and bad. Then we have five months without rockets and things don't improve. It plays into the hands of extremists."

He groped for a positive. In early December, despite the rocket fire that followed the 4 November Israeli raid there were still hopes in Gaza that the ceasefire could be revived.

"The good news is that most people here support the return of the ceasefire. So we're hopeful we will be able to return to it and have no rockets."

He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself more than me.

John ran through the litany of misery that existed in Gaza before the Israeli offensive. Of course it is many times worse now.

"There's one million on food aid, including 750,000 refugees. 80% are below the poverty line, meaning they live on less than $2 a day. Almost 100,000 jobs have gone in the last 18 months, since the total Israeli embargo came in. [Because that included most building materials] $93m of Unrwa construction projects, medical centres, houses for refugees, all are stopped. 3,200 out of 3,500 Gaza businesses have gone down in the siege."

"There's no ray of sunlight. It's all going in the wrong direction. It's all well documented and predictable."

"The Quartet [of the US, UN, Russia and the EU] said a new approach was needed for Gaza. In fact there are even stricter sanctions."

John Ging was out of Gaza when Israel attacked on 27 December. He managed to get back into Gaza a few days later. He is back at work, supervising Unrwa's operations.

Ahmed Yousef finally replied to one of my messages a few days ago. But since then I haven't been able to get through to him.

Mahmoud Zahar made a broadcast this week from wherever he's hiding in Gaza. He said victory was coming, and that the death and hardship inflicted by Israel was a 'tax' on Palestinian resistance.

A Day of Conversations

"hello can i speak to ______________?"
"Cannot."
"Ok.. hey where are you guys?"
"Sorry... what? i cannot hear you.."
"haha. I said where are you.."
"In your heart."
"Oi dun like that.. Where are you?"
"You know who you talking to right?"
"Yes."
"Then i'm right. I'm really in your heart."
"yes yes. you're in my heart. Now tell me where you are."

hahahahaha.

There is a heaven in my room!

Hello All.
I have a bookshelf.
My own bookshelf for my book collection.
Its shrine-like.
MY BOOKSHELF.
FOR BOOKS!
HAHA.
Cool or what?

Thanks daddy.

Lets get to know.. ME!

Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type.

Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.

For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important.

As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.

» Learn more about the Dreamy Idealist at work ...

As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.

Fantasies, dreams, and ideals, play an important role in your life. In your heart, you carry visions of a better world where the wolf plays with the lamb, and the creeks carry milk and honey. Naturally, this also applies to the subject of love. You are absolutely convinced that your perfect other half with whom you can merge into the perfect oneness, exists somewhere in this world. You are obviously aware that this extraordinary gift won’t just land in your lap, but you are willing to wait for a long time and sacrifice a lot, if necessary, to reach this vital goal. “Per aspera ad astra,” or “Through the night to the light,” is your motto.



Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative

I hate how my parents are really good at playing games.
hahaha.
Right now my sister and daddy are having a blast with english chess.
No idea what's up with them and chess.

Thanks again to my group members for working hard.

Perhaps today i was harsh towards the girls.
I felt at first that being honest and upfront about
what i dislike was the best thing to do.
but i guess i should have always place kindness as a priority.
I'm sorry.
I'm really glad though that fong as always understood my intention and
was able to respect it.

Love,
Sunshine

School.

Today was a good day with my parents although it was a short one.
I try to spend as much time doing things i like alone because tmr is another round of school and the start of everything.[whatever everything includes]
I'm glad that over the past few days i have managed to resolved alot of things.
I felt like i have a moment to look for answers i seek and i am in some ways, satisfied and content.
I'm beginning to you know, really identify wat's real and wat's not.
Address issues that i thought has expired.
From past relationships to friendships to my family, my future and everything else. [whatever everything includes]
I know its always weird how i see school as a beginning of a chaotic life.
But its truly not.
I dun fear going to school i love it.
I believe in education and living life to the fullest. Oh yes.
But if ever you felt that i am being negative about school life, well thats just because you are only reading a part of my life and you do not understand what's it like to see things my way.
Why i always go "tmr is a beginning of all things nasty.." its more because school is like a calendar for me.
It marks when i smile or cry or get frustrated.
Its not my everything but it helps remind me that i'm being part of life,
that my life is revolving, i'm evolving and new problems need solving/not.
[i just had to do that rhyming thing.]

I just feel amazing that i even have a school to go to.
Count our blessings guys because there's so many kids, like me, who isnt as lucky or as privileged to receive education in a learning institute without feeling unsafe or insecure.

May god bless us all.

Dan ku bisik kepada bulan,
kembalikan,
temanku,
kekasihku,
syurgaku....
- Sepi

And i whispered to the moon,
bring back,
my friend,
my love,
my heaven...

6 Years ago.

Does he hate me now?

It has been him all this while.

Badminton Day

Hello world.

FArlina we shall see each other soon. Sky dark dark want to rain. HAHA.

I have just had my first round of badminton. My initial plan was a full day of badminton till i pass out. haha. ok maybe not till i pass out. But i've been needing my own game since school starts. But unfortunately its raining in the west. So i only had my 2 hours of badminton. HAHA.

My preggie sis also played for a few minutes. I gotta say she still got it. Playing wih my bro-in-law is a blast lah. we smack like no one's business. And its just a great joy to see us laughing and having a good time. Being active does wonders definitely. Its an intimate event for me. haha.

So far the holidays are doing good. I'm hoping it stays that way.

Right now i'm planning activities/events for K707 and for my family. Yup its time i give back to people i care about the most.

Happy holidays my love!

love,
Sunshine

The last few days have been tormenting for me.
Other than school (which i stress is very stressful.hurhur)
my persoal life is as mess too.
The past keeps coming at me, i feel like
i'm fighting real hard not to cry everytime.
And i'm successful, but it makes me emotionally drained,
and i feel withdrawn from the world.

Emotional bitch.

Well anyway yesterday i got a surprise of my lifetime again!
hahaha.
Weng Fong had been the only one person who can fool me many times.
And i'm so thankful for the card that she bought for me.

With all the puns, irony and coincidences in the world,
CURIOSITY KILLS THE CAT.

love,
Sofia

I'll be going out with my dad soon,
so i guess i'll be haste.

One of the things i have to say I've learnt is that staying true to yourself really makes a big difference. I still believe in being nice to everyone but make decisions that you really would stand for and you believe whole-heartedly. I'm saying this because I've reflected on my past actions. What you choose to say or do should be in sync with your heart and soul. I make decisions in my life everyday every hour just like everyone. And i want to live with no regrets. Being a little bit selfish allowed room for just that. No regrets. Ever since i stopped considering too much, i find that the decisions i make are more fulfilling.

There's so many things unsaid. But i just cannot turn on that last switch to be open about what I'm going through.

So many things.

copywright from wei xian

ok i read his blog then, i found this:
"THE angbaoSS!!!
smb and sofia a.k.a the BEST class monitor."

wah very touching. haha. AWWWWWW

Anyway this pic contain all my self-declared husbands;
""
except the GREEN one. that one is my cher. haha.

wei xian is the one with obscene socks. haha.

that's all folks.

love,
Sunshine

World going Crazy

I'm supposed to be out by now but there are two things that made me sit on my bed and blog instead of rushing to school. [which btw i will be doing very soon]

one is that i read in the newspaper about another blog/website that condemns my prophet, our prophet Nabi Muhammad s.a.w and I'd say that although he/she may not believe in other people's religion, my prophet haven't done anything to him/her and that if you haven't even met the person alive, dun go dissing him in your stupid blog. Its rude and insensitive and you're not well informed therefore saying 10 wrong things in a sentence.

Two is the latest news about the humanitarian crisis in Gaza. The war is already hard enough to live by, but the effects of the still-continuous war is even worse. I will quote an excerpt from BBC.co.uk.

"Correspondents in Gaza City say entire neighbourhoods have been flattened and bodies are still being recovered.

The UN says it is still sheltering at least 35,000 Palestinians while 400,000 people are without running water.

Israel says it will allow 143 trucks loaded with humanitarian aid into Gaza plus 60,000 litres of fuel.

Israel launched its offensive on 27 December to stop Hamas militants firing rockets into Israel.

Palestinian medical sources say at least 1,300 Palestinians were killed and 5,500 injured during the conflict. Thirteen Israelis were killed. "

I wished i had the skills and the courage to leave school and join the relief efforts that is intending to go there to help the wounded and the homeless. Its so dire. And what was Israel thinking? What they think they are being the mercy ones by allowing 143 aid trucks to help about 500,000 people in pain? its not their country in the first place and they created the fucking problem. These war-hungry people are simply crazy.

I wished the war will stop already. Prayers for the victims and for everyone of us who doesn't believe in causing hurt to innocents.
May Allah bless us all.

Happy birthday JAJA!

hey there.
I am currently sipping soya bean milk, enjoying [and hating]the cold night, reading a book and doing research for my audit on monday. I feel so grateful for this luxury.

There's a few things i've been thinking about. Mostly about people, different people i meet everyday and some of the ones i'm lucky to get to know. One fact is that i actually do not hate people because of something they do or say everytime. I just hate because its instinct to strongly dislike someone or something for existing. The other fact is that my instinct in unstable and for most part i only find out i hate somebody too late or too soon. Another fact would be that i usually prefer to prevent from hating other than curing the hate. Because there is no such thing as unhate. Unhate is not love mind you.

I'm just saying how sometimes people you love do very hate-able things and you feel like hating them but then you just don't. Happens alot. And surprise,surprise you might just be one of them. i mean i might be one of them.

All is fair in love. Do you believe that kinda thing? I'm still having debates with myself over that. Nothing truly is fair. You dont go stealing other people's boyfriends just because you fell in love. You dont lie to a girl and make use of her as a rebound so that you'd be up walking healthy and be able to fall in love with someone else. But at the same time you gotta do something to get what you want done. And because i half-believe this theory, i forgive the guys that wasnt really nice to me.

Or maybe not.

I always believe that no matter what the situation, you must stick to golden rules.
1) YOu dont create a huge lie, medium lie or small lie
2) Don't be rude. Your tone, your language, behaviour.
3) BE straightforward but polite. People always say "I'm straightforward" when they are not. They are just rude in your face. Honest people care about other people too.
4) Care. If you cant love, care. Care about people's feelings. Care about the world.
5) Avoid jaywalking. You might laugh all you want. But people who jaywalks lies more often, smokes/have smoked/thought of smoking/whatever, are always arguing with their parents, have bad manners and although they have a lot of friends, they've got nothing. Most of the time true. Believe me. And if you want to avoid making stupid mistakes like hurting people, or getting too drunk to breathe, dun jaywalk. i can go on about psychological and sociological effects of jaywalking but i wont.
6) If ever you decide to walk away, dun come back.

i swear i didnt think that's not what i wanna blog about. but..
---------------

I'm not going on any dates this year. Or the next. I'm going to stick to my future plan. Boy its going to BIG.

The rules of love

I think i figured out why Angelina Jolie and brad Pitt adopted three kids. (& soon many more) ahaha.
In less than one month i have adopted one neopet after another, just because it felt good to know that the pet will be taken care off. Its actually addictive you know. Adopting and adopting.

[this entry will be a bit singlish one ok]
well my class is currently having our cram-jam session because of the projects and tests and quizzes and audits coming. I damn bored seh. I really wanna do something fun like play badminton or go sight-seeing or climb some mountain. Just something fun. Thank god for most of my projects i am with Weng Fong. And my teammates are getting better too. THey are all more involved now and missions assigned to them are usually completed. YAY! Except maybe for myself. Now i like slack like that. I really appreciate ting, farah and brian doing their work and coming for meetings. Even though i said thank you many times, and even though they said its required, i still feel thankful.

I'll be wearing formal almost everyday next week. Just now was the start of "wear formal" day. Damn. But i gotta say i've invested well in my formal skirt. My big ass looks great in them and i manage to conceal whatever it is i want to conceal. The best part is.. it comes in my favourite colour! grey. So going shoppig with daddy just means i make smart shopping decisions![which i appreciate alot too]

March is coming sooner. The big day of my life this year. I'm kinda nervous but excited. I wish i could skip valentine's day this year... You know what? I think i will.

So many things to do so little time.
gtg now.
Good night.

OH YA BY THE WAY I BOUGHT A NEW BOOK!
HAHA
PLEASE DUN TELL MY PARENTS!

love,
Sunshine

Gaza in pain

I had to find out what was going on, and when i read this article written by two doctors, i cried.
May Allah bless us all.


Two medics working for programmes supported by a UK-based charity give accounts of the difficulties they face because of the conflict in the Gaza Strip. Dr Abu Shaaban is director of the Burns Unit at Gaza's Shifa hospital and Dr Miri Weingarten is director of the Israeli charity Physicians for Human Rights.

The testimonies were obtained by the charity, Christian Aid.

DR NASEZ ABU SHAABAN - in Gaza

I have been working here for 25 years and I have never seen anything like this before. I have never seen this number of injuries or such severe injuries among civilians, children two and three years old.

We absolutely do not have the capacity to treat the numbers of patients we are receiving. That is why the minute the border opens with Egypt, we try to send the most difficult cases through for treatment and keep the less difficult cases here.


We are asking for the help of all physicians across the world - what type of weapons cause these injuries and how do you deal with them?
It is a disaster here. Entire families are suffering having had their houses collapse on top of them, some of them have been shelled, others are burned, it really is a disaster.

We have been receiving a very high number of patients with a strange burn, completely different to the burns we are used to managing, very deep burns with a very offensive, chemical odour coming from the wound site.

The wound keeps smoking for a long time. When we try to wash it with saline and water, some reaction happens, the skin bubbles and the patient complains of extreme pain.

In some cases there is then severe destruction of the tissue and we have had to amputate whole limbs.

We don't know what type of treatment should be used. The major problem is we don't know the kind of weapon that has been used.

We have a visiting doctor from Norway who thinks it might be white phosphorus but we are not sure. Even if it is, we have no experience of it and do not know how to deal with wounds it has caused.

We are asking for the help of all physicians across the world - what type of weapons cause these injuries and how do you deal with them? Is the chemical odour coming from the wound harmful to the medics?

What are the long term repercussions? We have no idea. What can we say? We try to reassure patients but we do not know.

I haven't slept a minute for the past 36 hours. I am not an administrator, I do not know how long we can continue to treat people in these conditions.

I would work forever with even the bare minimum of supplies. I will work as long as the shelling continues because I have to.


DR MIRI WEINGARTEN - Israel

It's hard for me to tell one day from another. From the early hours until night we receive a stream of calls from injured people trapped in Gaza who we aren't able to help.

We are an Israeli organisation working to tackle medical rights violations. We haven't been allowed to enter Gaza at all so are constantly calling the Israeli army authorities to let them know about injured civilians, to try to coordinate rescues.

We have managed to get five people with head injuries out of Gaza to Israel for medical care, but that was before the ground offensive began.

Since then, we have been limited to organising for ambulances to reach injured people and trapped families - we have many appeals for help but few successes.


Miri Weingarten (Photo: Tabitha Ross)
This is by far the worst I have seen it. I could never have thought such a thing could happen so quickly, such a steep descent in such a short time
Dr Miri Weingarten

The few hospitals still functioning in the Gaza Strip are stretched to breaking point. There is no room in the intensive care units and there are not enough expert surgical teams able to treat complex injuries.

There is an overflow of wounded people, not being treated in time. Palliative cases have simply been sent home.

So for people with kidney disease who need dialysis twice a week, while most aren't able to reach a hospital for treatment, those that can are sent straight home again.

I heard from the father of one of our patients, a 10-year-old boy with cancer who had been going to Israel for chemotherapy. Of course, there is no chance of that now. His child was in pain, so he wanted to go to the nearest hospital in Gaza, which was the European hospital in Khan Younis.

The ambulance couldn't reach them because the road was blocked so this man carried his son for 8km (five miles) on his back to the hospital.

When they got there, there wasn't any medication available, there weren't even any painkillers so he just carried him back home.

The crisis is not only for hospitals or those who are injured but ordinary civilians trapped in their homes. They may have had some containers of food and water put by and so managed to survive, more or less, for the past few weeks.

But now the food has run out, the water has run out, the batteries of the mobile phones have run out and there is no way of recharging them. There is a growing sense of panic within the civilian population.

This is by far the worst I have seen it. I could never have thought such a thing could happen so quickly, such a steep descent in such a short time. We are doing our best to help the people we speak to even though we know it's really not possible.

I am supposed to be finishing up my procoi project but here i am.
He called.
yup.
he.
but i was asleep just now so i didnt pick up.
I mean why?
now?
I am really blank right now.
I cant think.
Dunno how to anymore.
I feel like drowning.

Sound of Music

Hello there.
I'm keeping my myspace account i guess. The Main reason being the music selection and the stuff i can hear from there. All the amazing indie bands, unsigned musicians and every popular thing i have always loved. Its great in that sense. I can create my play list and have my own radio playing the songs i like. All that music stuff and the great friends i've made online. So I'm keeping my account for now.

Currently i only have two play lists, a public one as well as a private one.

In my public play list:
Peaches and Cream by 112 (haha! yeah i know! been long huh?)
Ten Black Roses by The Rasmus
Whatever you like by T.I
Come On by Rakim y ken-y
Scream by Avenged Sevenfold
Wadsyaname by Nelly
Green Light by John Legend {love love love him}
Beautiful by Snoop Dogg, Pharell & Uncle Charlie Wilson
Bittersweet by Apocalyptica and The Rasmus
That Girl by Frankie J.

In my private play list:
Separated by Usher [another favourite old song]
Cumbia De Los Muertos by Ozomatli
Candygirl by K-Jo and remarkable (not sure about this one)
Cuba
Tube Un Sueno by Rakim y Ken-y and Plan B
Brand new me by Colbie Caillat

So if you are bored of the songs you're listening to, why not try one of the above?

Anyway just now i went out with my old man, Daddy. We went shopping for my formal wear. Basically because I've outgrown all my old formal wear. And with an important date coming up, i should just be prepared you know. it was really fun. He's not like some guys who get impatient when you pick out your clothes slowly. Or maybe I'm not the kind of girl to pick out my clothes slowly. HAHA. Either way we had fun and burger king. We decided on a red formal top that screams "oi!" to the world. HAHA. Funky- so daddy style. And we got another white striped one because then i could get as many colour on my body as possible. hehe. But it has been long since i went out with only dad or just mum. so it was really nice.

i got to go.

love,
Sunshine

The Taxi 4

Having cabbed down the fourth time to temasek polytechnic in fear of being late, i have chanced upon many realizations.
1) that PIE is the fastest way to reach tampines no matter what the taxi driver always say about jams at the expressway
2) that i was cheated the last time i cabbed down to school
3) if you have to pay $40-45, you are cheated [2)]
4) it only costs $30-35 to be sent right into TP engineering school
5) i'm half-way to being broke
6) a good taxi driver will deliver you from home in twenty five minutes!
7) the one driving my cab in a good taxi driver because he sent me to school in 23 minutes
8) that i still hold grudges
haha.
i'm just thankful that i reached before nine. and that i'm safe. and that i had a pleasant journey. and that i had breakfast before class. :)

its at time like this i wished i had someone to call me in the morning to wake me up. damn.

lovelove,
Sunshine

Tmr MODSIM quiz!

I'm currently studying for System Modelling and Simulation quiz tmr. Well reading first few lines more like. HEHE. I know its a little late. But i will pay up for the lost hour tonight because i have had my 3 hours of sleep after school. I was so tired i accidentally buih-ed my sister and overslept till 8.45pm. well so anyway i bathed and did all admin work that needs to be done:

1) deLete friendster account
2) check all school mails
3) check all other mails
4) reply all mails
5) myspace.com

And so i did delete my friendster account. Reason? i get bored. And i actually have to admit that the less people i get to know, re-know and un-know, the better. So nil friendster account it is.

my room is still in a complete mess. I'm getting lazier and lazier and yet i feel like there's so many things to do. Its so crampin' my style. HAHA. i always wanted to say that. My class has been very pleasant this year. They always are, but you can sometimes sense when they are all tired, or tensed or upset. So i'm really glad that despite panda eyes ad dozing off in class, they are lively and cheerful.

I am desperately in need of money. Gimme gimme more...

Thats all folks.

Support of Palestine: Mr Chavez

Israeli envoy to Caracas expelled

Mr Chavez has often been critical of Israel and its policies
Venezuela has ordered the expulsion of the Israeli ambassador to Caracas in protest at Israel's offensive in the Gaza Strip.

A number of diplomatic staff have been expelled along with Shlomo Cohen.

President Hugo Chavez has strongly condemned Israel for its actions and called on Israelis to stand up against their government.

Venezuela is the first country to take such a diplomatic step in protest at the violence in Gaza.

"The Israeli army is cowardly attacking worn-out, innocent people, while they claim that they are defending their people," Mr Chavez said during a visit to a children's hospital in Caracas.

"I call on the people of Israel to stand up against that government, to demand, to put a hand on their hearts and look at their children, and I call on the world to stop this madness."

Shortly after, the foreign ministry released a statement ordering the expulsion of Mr Cohen and some of his staff, in what they said was a show of solidarity with the Palestinians.

The BBC's Will Grant in Caracas says Mr Chavez often uses strong language to criticise Israel and is a close ally of Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, one of Israel's main enemies.

Venezuela also has a large Arab community who have welcomed the government's move, our correspondent adds.

My 2009 resolution.

Hello there mates.
Have the new year been good to you?
so far i've heard really pleasant things from the people
around me so i wish 'ultimate happiness' is applicable to
everyone of us.

I have promised to do a resolutions' list and post it in here.
But honestly speaking, i havent really sat down and write down
anything at all and get it all organized the way i liked it.
And i also think that a resolutions' list gets a bit personal
for me to share it with the world.

However, since i promised, i'll give a gist of what it will
look/sound/feel like.

For the year 2009,
i have decided to be flying solo and achieve my
greatest pontential in anything i do.
That includes 4th time runing as top student
in my madrasah since its my O's this year.
I would also like to be a better person in
many areas: a better muslim, a better leader,
a better team member, a better daughter,
a better sister and a better friend. I want to
put aside any feelings of regret, hurt and anger
that i bottled up for 2008.
I want to learn from my past mistakes and learn
to be a more patient individual. I'd try to get
everything organized and clean. I'll also make sure
my hygiene habits up one level and try to bring
antibacterial wet tissues on important days like
when i'm eating at lau par sat, simpang bedok and etc.
I shall apply a "see but dont touch" policies to
all good looking (or not) boys. I shall enjoy
every experience that i will go through to the
maximum.
Read atleast five comics by marvel before 2010.

That's roughly what i think.

love,
Sunshine

WAR PROPAGANDA?

Propaganda war: trusting what we see?

By Paul Reynolds
World affairs correspondent, BBC News website


Israel has tried to take the initiative in the propaganda war over Gaza but, in one important instance, its version has been seriously challenged.

The incident raises the question of how to interpret video taken from the air.

Israel released video of an air attack on 28 December, which appeared to show rockets being loaded onto a lorry. The truck and those close to it were then destroyed by a missile.


Israeli footage of the truck being attacked

This was clear evidence, the Israelis said, of how accurate their strikes were and how well justified. A special unit it has set up to coordinate its informational plan put the video onto YouTube as part of its effort to use modern means of communications to get Israel's case across.

The YouTube video has a large caption on it saying "Grad missiles being loaded onto the Hamas vehicle." As of Saturday morning UK time, more than 260,000 people had watched it.

Different version

It turned out, however, that a 55-year-old Gaza resident named Ahmed Sanur, or Samur, claimed that the truck was his and that he and members of his family and his workers were moving oxygen cylinders from his workshop.


Ahmed Sanur is challenging Israel's claim that rockets were targeted

This workshop had been damaged when a building next door was bombed by the Israelis and he was afraid of looters, he said.

The Israeli human rights group B'Tselem put Mr Sanur's account on its website, together with a photograph of burned out oxygen cylinders.

Mr Sanur said that eight people, one of them his son, had been killed. He subsequently told the Israeli newspaper Haaretz: "These were not Hamas, they were our children... They were not Grad missiles.".

The Israeli response was that the "materiel" was being taken from a site that had stored weapons. The video remains on You Tube.

But the incident shows how an apparently definitive piece of video can turn into something much more doubtful.


B'Tselem said these cannisters were near the destroyed truck

It is reminiscent of an event in the Nato war against Serbia over Kosovo in 1999. In that case, a video taken from the air seemed to show a military convoy which was then attacked.

On the ground however it was discovered that the "trucks" were in fact tractors towing cartloads of civilian refugees, many of whom were killed.


Israel effort

The Israeli propaganda effort is being directed to achieve two main aims.

The first is to justify the air attacks. The second is to show that there is no humanitarian calamity in Gaza.

Both these aims are intended to place Israel in a strong position internationally and to enable its diplomacy to act as an umbrella to fend off calls for a ceasefire while the military operation unfolds.

Israel has pursued the first aim by being very active in getting its story across that Hamas is to blame. The sight of Hamas rockets streaking into Israel has been helpful in this respect.

It has also allowed trucks in with food aid and has stressed that it will not let people starve, even if they go short.

Israel appears to think its efforts are working.

One of its spokespeople, who has regularly appeared on the international media, Major Avital Leibovich, said: "Quite a few outlets are very favourable to Israel."

Ban on foreign media

Israel has bolstered its approach by banning foreign correspondents from Gaza, despite a ruling from the Israeli Supreme Court.

The Arab television news channel Al Jazeera is operating there and its reports have been graphic and have affected opinion across the Arab world. The BBC also has its local bureau hard at work.

But the absence of reporters from major organisations has meant, for example, that Mr Samur's story has not been as widely told as it probably would have been, or his account subject to an on-the-spot examination.

Meanwhile Israel has received good coverage of the threats and damage to its own towns and communities.

Whether Israel retains any propaganda initiative is not all certain. Pictures of dead and wounded children have undermined its claim to pinpoint accuracy and the longer this goes on, the greater the potential for world public opinion to swing against it, with diplomatic pressure building for a cessation.

Its presentational problems would be hugely increased if it engaged in a ground operation, which would bring with it more pictures of death and destruction.

Update: several readers have e-mailed to ask whether I believe Hamas. One said I had "bought into" Hamas propaganda. Another that I should have dealt with Hamas' claims: "What's missing speaks volumes about your one-sidedness."

I do not believe anyone's "propaganda." We seek to verify all claims, from whatever source. One of the main claims in Gaza at the moment is the serious situation for the population. Having reported from Gaza many times over the years, I know how crowded parts of it are and how dependent the people are on food aid from the UN. This means they have no other source of supply but equally, if the system is working, they should be getting enough to get by on. The problem is that foreign correspondents cannot get in to establish the exact situation for themselves.

Paul.Reynolds-INTERNET@bbc.co.uk

53

Happy Birthday Daddy.

Im deeply affected by the war going on in palestine.

Gaza medics said more than 463 Palestinians had been killed -- including 75 children -- and 2,310 wounded in the air campaign.

Four people have been killed in Israel by more than 500 rockets fired from Gaza over the same period.

where is the justice in that?
please no more wars.
Lets pray for the victims.

Men of jan 2009

I have to admit that Mr Edward Cullen, or robert, really makes me wet my pants when he smiles...

But then i remembered him in harry potter as cedric and i'm still 50/50. haha.
But i still vote him as one of the MAN of 2009.

In his family though i recalled someone better looking than him. the DAD.
haha. Carlisle is one hotstuff. But i like him better in brown hair than blonde.


But if i had a bestfriend like Jacob Black :



I'm all good single man. haha. Shimi you're hot but just not my type. HAHA.

Not sure if you guys have seen obama like this:

Hot or what?

ANyhoo despite the temptation of all gorgeous being,
my main love, my one and only is this one:


Lovelove,
Sunshine

After new year's day.

Well hello lovely people!
Happy new year again!

The past week have been such a rush for me.
On the last day of the year i had 3 birthday celebrations altogether and even had time to meet my bestfriend in-between!
YAY!
The year is new and it means a new beginning for me.
AGAIN.
haha.
What i did for my new year was alot of neopets and a good movie marathon.
twilight-pirates of carribean trilogy.
It was just me and my laptop.
Thank god daddy borrowed the pirates of caribbean trilogy set from my uncle.
haha.
AND i am an official proud member of self-declared twilight fan.
i knew about the book before the movie.
and honestly i didnt give a shit about watching the movie till well i got bored and robert pattinson's face was alluring enough.
i loved it!
not the girl though.
she looked very... i dunnowhatsit.
but cheers for her brown hair.
i swear if they put a blondie as the girl opposite edward cullen...
things will not be as good?
well who cares what i think?
it was a great movie.

I created a myspace.com account a few days ago.
Reason?
So that i could be Lauren Conrad's friend. haha.
I know very juvie.
I:M A GROUPIE.
AHAHHAHAHA
BUt now that i am, i have nothing else there to do.
The friend requests keep on coming in.
the first few days was from very cool and nice people.
Once it reaches the fifth day,
i get from mattish to pervertish.
Damn.
haha.
I dunno.. if LC doesnt chat me up...
i will delete the rest of the weirdos asap.
Its a sign you know.
HAHA.

I havent come up with a resolutions list.
Surprisingly i read many new-foud discoveries about
how resolutions list makes people feel bad about themselves.
Well not for me!
its fun as hell and you can be as creative as you want.
:)
I am also coming up with my wish list.
Everything will be published soon!
No worries.

Love,
Sunshine.

2009

Happy New Year you guys!!


will be back!