hello.
Selamat berpuasa semua!
I've got so many pictures to upload.
But i'm damn lazy lah.
My room is damn colourful right now.
Exactly how i liked it.
Very girlpower.
HAHA.
Thanks to beloved mum and dad.
Sunshine by Robin has been a blast!
I'm still so hooked and mesmerized by it.
Holidays are fun!
I shall sleep early today.
oops. I meant earlier.
Long day tomorrow and tuesday.
I hope everyone's gonna have a great week this week.
I just feel like good things are gonna come.
To motorboy: dun be rude to me.
I'm a very fun loving person tapi jangan attitude eh.
orang nak puasa seh. Jangan cabar.
To hashima: I MISS YOU!
To farlina: thanks for joining my mob!
means ALOT to me :)
hehe!
ok i gtg!
Love,
Sunshine.
i wonder what that smell of jasmine means..
8.31.2008
8.30.2008
It doesnt rain forever.
Hello Baby.
I haven't cleaned up my room yet.
haha. Yes i know I've said many times i would.
But i only managed to vacuum the floors, change my pillow casings,
wipe the top surfaces of everything dusty,
place fresh flowers in my room!,clear my thrash cans..
today i was supposed to continue with cleaning
my closet and books and stuff..
but after doing a duet with The Head Chef
in the kitchen for about five hours already,
I'm a goner. hahah.
But it has been great you know.
Spending time with her for my holidays.
Cooking and cleaning and teasing each other.
I've just realised it has been quite a while since i did anything
with just her, me and dad.
Right now i am just taking my 1 hour break so here i am, blogging about my life.
Yesterday i dunno what's going up with my other side.
Haha. I was just plain depressed and feeling like I've
been blanketed by a thousand emotions, the major being loneliness.
I wanted to sleep with Planet in her small bed,
thinking it would be cosy and quiet and calm.
But it was too small for two and she's too tired
for anything.
So i looked through my book collection.
"Please god, just give me something."
And there i found my all-time favourite book.
A book that never fails to keep me company through
all my hard times.
Sunshine by Robin McKinley.
I went back to my pink room, turned on the lights
and rearranged my pillows, tuck myself in
and started reading the book.
And after some time, i feel like I'm home.
Peaceful.
Today i realised I'm really going to be an aunt soon.
And it scares me because i don't think
I'm a good role model.
I wanna change for the better. :)
love,
Sunshine
Going back to school wasn't a good idea.
I'm never going back.
JSS was never my favourite anything.
yeah I'm thankful for the girls i met.
but so wad?
Never have i ever went back to that darn place
coming home feeling good about myself.
Wad she said was hurtful.
I hate that place.
With whatever that has been going on plus that Jss trip,
of course i feel like breaking down.
But its all over.
Your past can only scare you so much.
It doesn't rain forever remember?
I haven't cleaned up my room yet.
haha. Yes i know I've said many times i would.
But i only managed to vacuum the floors, change my pillow casings,
wipe the top surfaces of everything dusty,
place fresh flowers in my room!,clear my thrash cans..
today i was supposed to continue with cleaning
my closet and books and stuff..
but after doing a duet with The Head Chef
in the kitchen for about five hours already,
I'm a goner. hahah.
But it has been great you know.
Spending time with her for my holidays.
Cooking and cleaning and teasing each other.
I've just realised it has been quite a while since i did anything
with just her, me and dad.
Right now i am just taking my 1 hour break so here i am, blogging about my life.
Yesterday i dunno what's going up with my other side.
Haha. I was just plain depressed and feeling like I've
been blanketed by a thousand emotions, the major being loneliness.
I wanted to sleep with Planet in her small bed,
thinking it would be cosy and quiet and calm.
But it was too small for two and she's too tired
for anything.
So i looked through my book collection.
"Please god, just give me something."
And there i found my all-time favourite book.
A book that never fails to keep me company through
all my hard times.
Sunshine by Robin McKinley.
I went back to my pink room, turned on the lights
and rearranged my pillows, tuck myself in
and started reading the book.
And after some time, i feel like I'm home.
Peaceful.
Today i realised I'm really going to be an aunt soon.
And it scares me because i don't think
I'm a good role model.
I wanna change for the better. :)
love,
Sunshine
Going back to school wasn't a good idea.
I'm never going back.
JSS was never my favourite anything.
yeah I'm thankful for the girls i met.
but so wad?
Never have i ever went back to that darn place
coming home feeling good about myself.
Wad she said was hurtful.
I hate that place.
With whatever that has been going on plus that Jss trip,
of course i feel like breaking down.
But its all over.
Your past can only scare you so much.
It doesn't rain forever remember?
8.29.2008
escape the fate
"make sure you're still alive,
just in time to kill you"
eventful or not.
damn these wounds hurt like hell.
days pass by damn slowly at one point of time
and rushes through you at the other.
do you believe that people really forgive other people?
sometimes i wonder why the hurt lingers on even when
you feel like you've forgiven.
the dragging time, it prolongs everything wrong.
Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.
Like all else wrong.
I've realised. I've seen. I've faced it at last.
The spaces between us and the next best thing
exists. And so with our other surviving champions
in this life.
What brings us close is not the thought
of missing one another.
To reach out is only through our prayers.
One reaches the other, one does not.
Why do we take so long to wake up from our nightmares?
Why cover up the truth?
i sometimes ask myself.
Oh fear.
In truth up to a certain extent,
we all fear the truths.
Even of our nature.
or Especially.
My daddy used to say,
that what we believe exist, exists.
To you, you do not exist anymore after this.
Just a hollow.
Do people sigh of pain or hurt
or just of relief?
Why do you feel your heart hurts when you
try to breathe so hard?
Life is so short.
Not good enough for truth or cliche.
Why Facebook made my [many] days..
Facebook.
After a rough day, other than friendster, i would definitely log into facebook. The "social games" is really refereshing. There's this amazing Mob Wars that let you feel rich [ooh and the billionaire application] and go fight with other people. Its the ultimate stress relief. HALLO. haha. And its so fun because you can build an empire and get to meet cool Mobster-buddies. So cool lah.
[yeeha i have been increaasing my mobsters. please join my mob if you love me.]
And where else can you spread your worldwide love so freely? Sending stickers and sending starbucks and armanis and LVs and everything over. Its so fun.
I'm dedicating my thank yous to my dearest friend, Facebook.
Oh man i loooovvvve holidays!
8.28.2008
story story
hello baby.
ok i promise no more sad or angry stories today.
first, let me finish my gendang kasturi....
my exams are over!
so i am gonna plan my holidays.
1) clean my room
2) read all my books
3) play games till i cry
4) rest rest rest
5) after the second week, date-time!
6) class chalet
7) clean room
8) write poetries
9) paint
10) celebrate raya lah babe!
hahahaha
gerek seh!
ok i promise no more sad or angry stories today.
first, let me finish my gendang kasturi....
my exams are over!
so i am gonna plan my holidays.
1) clean my room
2) read all my books
3) play games till i cry
4) rest rest rest
5) after the second week, date-time!
6) class chalet
7) clean room
8) write poetries
9) paint
10) celebrate raya lah babe!
hahahaha
gerek seh!
8.27.2008
Its all a lie.
Whenever he promised a happy ending its all always just a lie. Its so funny to see people come up with sad excuses to cover up for whatever deeper issues they have. What i dun understand is why you seek forgiveness and why is it always so easy to do so? How can he not feel worthless having to apologise continuously for the rest of his life simply because he didnt think it wise to change his behaviour? Tell me what have i done wrong? Why come back when all he does is leave. again. its so stupid. I feel so stupid. I'm so mad that in my toughest times, even my happiest, he's not there. he's not here. What's so difficult? My good results, my birthday, my sister's wedding, hari raya, our date anniversary, valentine's, my dad got hospitalized, my sis got hospitalized, my aunt and uncle passed away........on and on. i choke with semi-laughter and semi-sadness everytime he said he miss me because the whole world knows it just means he's leaving soon. he is so funny. All i think of right now is disgust, anger and alot of hurt.
Thanks for your kindness sayang.
didnt i used to say?
Thanks for your kindness sayang.
didnt i used to say?
8.26.2008
The HAte Blog
ever heard how angry a blog can sound?
FUCK YOU BLONDIE FUCK YOU.
CHEAT AND CHEAT
AND LIE AND LIE AND LIE SOME MORE
RUN AND THEN COME BACK.
RUN AND THEN COME BACK.
RUN AND THEN COME BACK.
RUN AWAY AGAIN AND COME BACK
FUCK YOU BLONDIE!
THIS TIME PLEASE EXIT FOR GOOD.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
ANGRY,
SUNSHINE
i said please seh. nonsense.
FUCK YOU BLONDIE FUCK YOU.
CHEAT AND CHEAT
AND LIE AND LIE AND LIE SOME MORE
RUN AND THEN COME BACK.
RUN AND THEN COME BACK.
RUN AND THEN COME BACK.
RUN AWAY AGAIN AND COME BACK
FUCK YOU BLONDIE!
THIS TIME PLEASE EXIT FOR GOOD.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
ANGRY,
SUNSHINE
i said please seh. nonsense.
8.24.2008
Cry "Wolf!"
hola love.
other than facing the moon-ly cycle,
hahah,
i find disguise the most complex thing in life.
[in case you still dun get it, its the wolf in sheep's clothing thing.]
you know how humans always say they take the many thousands form of disguise everyday of their lives.
partially true.
but i find it even more sad for those who actually has to work with a disguise on everytime.
straight drags, police undercover work, clowns, actors....
i cant imagine after months and months being in disguise,
i cant imagine how they are going to identify their true colours.
colours, such a powerful word.
split-up, they have to strip their personalities for work.
its so painful.
just saying.
these few days i have been feeling tired.
at first i thought of the emotional baggage but apparently not so.
physically, just physically itself i feel tired.
"hormones racing at the speed of light but that dun mean its gonna be tonight.."
that + the rush of things + mental stress.
i have alot things that i need to get done.
i'm suddenly running out of time for everything.
i try to get things organized but i still never fail to feel tired.
and
like i said decan sucks big time for me.
its not that i didnt study,
but i burnt my 75 marks because i interpret the questions wrongly.
its such a confidence-breaker.
i'm just compartmentalizing my fears into one part of my brain so that i can continue to work on my other subjects.
which i think isnt very successful because i just end up feeling sleepy and tired physically anyway.
on the other hand, i have managed to get my emotions checked and in place.
so i guess 1 good thing though.
the holiday.
i need my awaited sun-and-girlfriend therapy with far.
even the after-exams popeye date with fong sounds like heaven.
holiday: its a spell for many happy things.
talking about crying wolf!, i think the biggest lesson learnt is to not lie or break people's trust. its gets to you someday. and i think on my part i did that quite a bit and is filled with regret the times that i did break other people's trust. i think thats the reason why no matter what, i do trust people a little.
i dun really believe that you should make people earn your trust. but i believe that since you give to them willingly, they should not break it. its stupid to go "you should earn my trust and respect.." its given lah. hello what happen to human rights?? to have to earn it is only applicable when they have broken the first one. i think.
i just find it cruel to not trust or respect other people on first account. its just that after you get to know the people then you should decide how much or less to trust that someone.
practicing Basic Trust makes your life more worthwhile. trust me. haha.
Just a friend by Jay Sean
LYRICS:
Hold me
Both our bodies close together
Teasin' me
Let me get to know you better
Pains me
This chemistry between us, can't u see
But I guess you're not there for me
I can't take this no more
Baby close the door
There's somethin' you should know
What's been goin' on
It's messin' with my heart
I can't even start
To describe what I've been holdin' inside
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
Yes, you'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
sometimes i wish i never met her at all
(really!)
Tell me
I gotta be tryna' make this thing alright
Can't be
if theyre makin' mistakes on all day, all night
Tellin' me
Cause I want you girl, hurts to know
That you're just too blind to see, Baby
I can't take this no more
Baby close the door
There's somethin' you should know
What's been goin' on
It's messin' with my heart
I can't even start
To describe what I've been holdin' inside
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
Yes, you'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
sometimes i wish i never met her at all
(really!)
still i havent found a way to show my feelings for you
There were so pretty times that I thought you knew
Like a fool I've waitin' every time you take me back
And I feel the same way too
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
You'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
Sometimes I wish I never matter at all
(really!)
Baby, don't you know
Don't you know what I've been tryin' to tell you
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
You'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
Sometimes I wish I never matter at all
(really!)
honestly, i think the lyrics are not excellent.
like incomplete gitu.
but it means something.
There's a dead end. yet i'm still smiling.
love,
Sunshine
other than facing the moon-ly cycle,
hahah,
i find disguise the most complex thing in life.
[in case you still dun get it, its the wolf in sheep's clothing thing.]
you know how humans always say they take the many thousands form of disguise everyday of their lives.
partially true.
but i find it even more sad for those who actually has to work with a disguise on everytime.
straight drags, police undercover work, clowns, actors....
i cant imagine after months and months being in disguise,
i cant imagine how they are going to identify their true colours.
colours, such a powerful word.
split-up, they have to strip their personalities for work.
its so painful.
just saying.
these few days i have been feeling tired.
at first i thought of the emotional baggage but apparently not so.
physically, just physically itself i feel tired.
"hormones racing at the speed of light but that dun mean its gonna be tonight.."
that + the rush of things + mental stress.
i have alot things that i need to get done.
i'm suddenly running out of time for everything.
i try to get things organized but i still never fail to feel tired.
and
like i said decan sucks big time for me.
its not that i didnt study,
but i burnt my 75 marks because i interpret the questions wrongly.
its such a confidence-breaker.
i'm just compartmentalizing my fears into one part of my brain so that i can continue to work on my other subjects.
which i think isnt very successful because i just end up feeling sleepy and tired physically anyway.
on the other hand, i have managed to get my emotions checked and in place.
so i guess 1 good thing though.
the holiday.
i need my awaited sun-and-girlfriend therapy with far.
even the after-exams popeye date with fong sounds like heaven.
holiday: its a spell for many happy things.
talking about crying wolf!, i think the biggest lesson learnt is to not lie or break people's trust. its gets to you someday. and i think on my part i did that quite a bit and is filled with regret the times that i did break other people's trust. i think thats the reason why no matter what, i do trust people a little.
i dun really believe that you should make people earn your trust. but i believe that since you give to them willingly, they should not break it. its stupid to go "you should earn my trust and respect.." its given lah. hello what happen to human rights?? to have to earn it is only applicable when they have broken the first one. i think.
i just find it cruel to not trust or respect other people on first account. its just that after you get to know the people then you should decide how much or less to trust that someone.
practicing Basic Trust makes your life more worthwhile. trust me. haha.
Just a friend by Jay Sean
LYRICS:
Hold me
Both our bodies close together
Teasin' me
Let me get to know you better
Pains me
This chemistry between us, can't u see
But I guess you're not there for me
I can't take this no more
Baby close the door
There's somethin' you should know
What's been goin' on
It's messin' with my heart
I can't even start
To describe what I've been holdin' inside
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
Yes, you'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
sometimes i wish i never met her at all
(really!)
Tell me
I gotta be tryna' make this thing alright
Can't be
if theyre makin' mistakes on all day, all night
Tellin' me
Cause I want you girl, hurts to know
That you're just too blind to see, Baby
I can't take this no more
Baby close the door
There's somethin' you should know
What's been goin' on
It's messin' with my heart
I can't even start
To describe what I've been holdin' inside
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
Yes, you'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
sometimes i wish i never met her at all
(really!)
still i havent found a way to show my feelings for you
There were so pretty times that I thought you knew
Like a fool I've waitin' every time you take me back
And I feel the same way too
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
You'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
Sometimes I wish I never matter at all
(really!)
Baby, don't you know
Don't you know what I've been tryin' to tell you
Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
You'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
Sometimes I wish I never matter at all
(really!)
honestly, i think the lyrics are not excellent.
like incomplete gitu.
but it means something.
There's a dead end. yet i'm still smiling.
love,
Sunshine
8.22.2008
kids say the darnest thing
baby i'm back.
hahaha.
baby i'm back again.
you wont believe what i said to my sis when i first opened my bloody eyes.
i said
"barulah sekarang saya terasa ketegangan otot-otot di merata rata tempat."
hahahaha.
serious babe.
i have no idea where that came from.
see that's why sleepy me is dangerous.
i can say ANYTHING.
love,
sunshine
hahaha.
baby i'm back again.
you wont believe what i said to my sis when i first opened my bloody eyes.
i said
"barulah sekarang saya terasa ketegangan otot-otot di merata rata tempat."
hahahaha.
serious babe.
i have no idea where that came from.
see that's why sleepy me is dangerous.
i can say ANYTHING.
love,
sunshine
POINTLESS CONVERSATION
HELLO HELLO!
[HOLA!]
HAHA.
OK LET ME ASK YOU A RIDDLE.
CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHOSE LOOKS ARE AVERAGE?
YES?
BUT!!!
WHAT IF YOU FEEL LIKE PUKING EVERYTIME YOU LOOK AT THE PERSON'S PICTURE?
NOW HONESTLY TELL ME..
CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE? HUH? HUH? HUH?
HAHAHAHA.
I ASK MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION EVERYTIME.
OK, APPARENTLY YES.
I GOT ASTIGMATISM ISSUES.
HAHA.
OKIES BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE IF I AM UNKIND TO SAD PEOPLE,
I SHALL BE A GOOD FRIEND AND BE THERE FOR THE LAUGHTER AND THE TEARS.
I SHALL REMEMBER HOW IT FEELS LIKE WHEN THERE'S NO ONE TO LISTEN TO YOU,
NO ONE TO TRY TO CHEER YOU UP,
NO ONE TO SLAP YOU TO YOUR SENSES.
AND THEREFORE I SHALL BE NICE AND STAY AROUND TO SLAP THE SHIT OUT MY DEAR FRIEND UNTIL MY DEAR FRIEND HAS GOTTEN WHAT --- WANTS OR FAILED AT THAT.
CLARITY. I PRAY FOR CLARITY.
COMMUNICATION THROUGH THE INTERNET, SMSES, PHONECALLS EVEN,
ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH SOMETIMES.
I MEAN I CAN SMS SHIMI LIKE EVERYDAY BUT IT WOULD ALWAYS FEEL LESS PERSONAL UNTIL I ACTUALLY SEE HER WITH MY OWN EYES. FOR EXAMPLE.
INLCUSIVE OF THAT STATED FACT OF IMPERSONAL-NESS,
IT IS NATURALLY DIFFICULT TO TRACE ME ESP IF YOU ARE MALE.
MY PHONE JUST DOESNT TELL ME WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME SOMETIMES,
OR I WILL RECEIVE THE SMSES TEN HOURS LATER.
IF YOU'RE MALE, MOST LIKELY I GET IT LIKE TWELVE HOURS LATER.
I DUN CHOOSE OK. HAHA.
I TRIED.
SEE THAT'S WHY TECHNOLOGY SUCKS.
BRING ON THE FLUFF AND HAPPY THINGS.
BECAUSE DECISION ANALYSIS SUCKED BIG TIME FOR ME.
IN EXAMS AND IN REAL LIFE.
LOVE,
SUNSHINE.
[HOLA!]
HAHA.
OK LET ME ASK YOU A RIDDLE.
CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHOSE LOOKS ARE AVERAGE?
YES?
BUT!!!
WHAT IF YOU FEEL LIKE PUKING EVERYTIME YOU LOOK AT THE PERSON'S PICTURE?
NOW HONESTLY TELL ME..
CAN YOU FALL IN LOVE? HUH? HUH? HUH?
HAHAHAHA.
I ASK MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION EVERYTIME.
OK, APPARENTLY YES.
I GOT ASTIGMATISM ISSUES.
HAHA.
OKIES BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE IF I AM UNKIND TO SAD PEOPLE,
I SHALL BE A GOOD FRIEND AND BE THERE FOR THE LAUGHTER AND THE TEARS.
I SHALL REMEMBER HOW IT FEELS LIKE WHEN THERE'S NO ONE TO LISTEN TO YOU,
NO ONE TO TRY TO CHEER YOU UP,
NO ONE TO SLAP YOU TO YOUR SENSES.
AND THEREFORE I SHALL BE NICE AND STAY AROUND TO SLAP THE SHIT OUT MY DEAR FRIEND UNTIL MY DEAR FRIEND HAS GOTTEN WHAT --- WANTS OR FAILED AT THAT.
CLARITY. I PRAY FOR CLARITY.
COMMUNICATION THROUGH THE INTERNET, SMSES, PHONECALLS EVEN,
ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH SOMETIMES.
I MEAN I CAN SMS SHIMI LIKE EVERYDAY BUT IT WOULD ALWAYS FEEL LESS PERSONAL UNTIL I ACTUALLY SEE HER WITH MY OWN EYES. FOR EXAMPLE.
INLCUSIVE OF THAT STATED FACT OF IMPERSONAL-NESS,
IT IS NATURALLY DIFFICULT TO TRACE ME ESP IF YOU ARE MALE.
MY PHONE JUST DOESNT TELL ME WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME SOMETIMES,
OR I WILL RECEIVE THE SMSES TEN HOURS LATER.
IF YOU'RE MALE, MOST LIKELY I GET IT LIKE TWELVE HOURS LATER.
I DUN CHOOSE OK. HAHA.
I TRIED.
SEE THAT'S WHY TECHNOLOGY SUCKS.
BRING ON THE FLUFF AND HAPPY THINGS.
BECAUSE DECISION ANALYSIS SUCKED BIG TIME FOR ME.
IN EXAMS AND IN REAL LIFE.
LOVE,
SUNSHINE.
Alone
so drunk with loneliness,
i ended up screaming for attention.
its so hard to find the light
when the sun has already went to sleep.
it felt cold without the sunshine.
the night.
but there is no sun at night.
i miss being around each other.
i ended up screaming for attention.
its so hard to find the light
when the sun has already went to sleep.
it felt cold without the sunshine.
the night.
but there is no sun at night.
i miss being around each other.
8.21.2008
Celebrating the upcoming month: Ramadhan
hello love.
Ramadhan is coming.. ramadhan is coming!
yayay!
haha.
Can you feel the heat?
Do you smelllllllroll tonguelllllll what the rock is cookin'??
Amboi, kakak2 adik2 yang tgh puasa qadak ke puasa sunat tu
jangan lah pulak bau lebih2 ya. haha. :)
Talking about that.. damn this coming month is gonna be so full of fun i cannot wait!
My resolution is to tackle three things:
Nafsu makan.
Nafsu tidur.
Penyakit tinggalkan sembahyang.
haha.
Tak tahu lah manenye timbul angkara2 old-skul ni.
So shall see lah how i improve. HAHA. Last year was alright i think,
heheheheheh,
but this year must work on it.
And perhaps this is also the best time to learn to cook!
YAY.
i'm like lway itching to help out in the kitchen maybe thi time i cook something real! hahaha.
Come up with my new recipe again!
fun maut.
Oklah i gtg now.
Buka time is coming.
I gotta prepare the food and stuff.
HAHA.
You have fun.
And to those mugging hard or exams,
all the best for yours and mine!
hehe.
love,
Sunshine
Ramadhan is coming.. ramadhan is coming!
yayay!
haha.
Can you feel the heat?
Do you smelllllllroll tonguelllllll what the rock is cookin'??
Amboi, kakak2 adik2 yang tgh puasa qadak ke puasa sunat tu
jangan lah pulak bau lebih2 ya. haha. :)
Talking about that.. damn this coming month is gonna be so full of fun i cannot wait!
My resolution is to tackle three things:
Nafsu makan.
Nafsu tidur.
Penyakit tinggalkan sembahyang.
haha.
Tak tahu lah manenye timbul angkara2 old-skul ni.
So shall see lah how i improve. HAHA. Last year was alright i think,
heheheheheh,
but this year must work on it.
And perhaps this is also the best time to learn to cook!
YAY.
i'm like lway itching to help out in the kitchen maybe thi time i cook something real! hahaha.
Come up with my new recipe again!
fun maut.
Oklah i gtg now.
Buka time is coming.
I gotta prepare the food and stuff.
HAHA.
You have fun.
And to those mugging hard or exams,
all the best for yours and mine!
hehe.
love,
Sunshine
When you told me you loved me
Its real sad to know
that we'll remain as we already are.
that we are still worlds apart.
that although you make smile, you make me cry the same.
that i have to hold back.
that i know what's it gonna be like three weeks four weeks five weeks later.
that we're back to square one.
that we're not there for each other.
that all we ever did was miss each other.
that the only good memory i have of you was seeing you sleep peacefully by my side,
whereas other couples had beautiful conversations of love and dreams and promises and everything so beautiful, but i only remembered watching you fall asleep.
Its real sad.
just how long will you stay this time?
i felt passion so bright i was blind. -jessica simpson
i'm so used to missing you i feel scared shit.
but what is there to fear?
you are the equivalent to the Uncertainty Monster,
if there was such a monster.
yes, you can be a white Uncertaity Monster if you like.
i'll give you that.
But i'll face it anyway..
"ayu? what do you think of me?"
"i dunno. But one thing for sure, you drive me crazy."
i was accurate.
:)
love,
Sunshine
8.20.2008
B a man
hey love.
its two plus am in the morning. OOOWEEE!
haha. i saw my sister blog and i have this compulsive need to follow suit.
I have been generally ok the whole day. Maybe the mum-talk wasn't so smooth and stuff but i really had a nice day. I'm thankful for the many nice days.
I should really work my ass off. especially for the exams. I want my As but i feel so unmotivated after being slapped around for all my presentations and quizzes and whatnots. Haiz. i dunno. I sometimes dun feel i'm in the right course. I like my examinable topics but i hate those bloody project-based thingy. Its just so dry and boring. HAHA. ok i know it should be the other way around but i feel like studying and reading and exams are more fun than projects and presentations. Its all so stupid. I know its to prepare us for the future lah, helps with our presentation and communication skills but it doesnt mean i have to like it right?
So yeah that's one thing i dun like right now. i just cant wait to graduate. i hope next semester would be more fun or something coz i'm getting bored.i should work hard for the three papers to redeem myself atleast. Cs are unbearable.
The Blue man's still depressed. But my gut feeling was right.
a) he's stuck in the past [ex gf kinda past]
b) he's more emotional(unstable) than me
[uhuh! exactly. who can be more emotionally unstable than me??]
c) for a dude he's impractical.
d) he's actually arrogant
(not like verbally or through his actions, but through his opinions and mentality. yes i i mean it although i know one factor affects the other..)
e) i'm bored of plastic perfection
Blondie on the other hand... he's loads of happy things. Which confuses me happily.
a) he's not past-talking
b) laugh and makes me laugh over i dunno what
c) he's sickeningly simple-minded (too, very much) but that makes him practical. he misses? he calls. and call and call till he gets through.
d) he's humble but hmmm..
e) i'm dealing with the imperfection. its like a breathe of fresh air sometimes.
Backstabber dude is happily attached.
a) he's always buih-ing ppl
b) great conversationalist
c) lies
d) i think he secretly caused a lot of friendship problems
e) i'm actually happier without a fren like him
ive got no idea why i even bother to include him in my blog lah. but well just because i feel like disliking him alot today. haha.
i vote for blondie as my happy pill.
i'm talking five years later and thats why i must work my way through.
achieve wad i can and hopefully be a better person.
is this wad it means accepting someone as he is?
i dunno whack. but hmmm i'm positive it would be ok anyway. :)
i miss the sunrise phonecall.
love,
sunshine.
its two plus am in the morning. OOOWEEE!
haha. i saw my sister blog and i have this compulsive need to follow suit.
I have been generally ok the whole day. Maybe the mum-talk wasn't so smooth and stuff but i really had a nice day. I'm thankful for the many nice days.
I should really work my ass off. especially for the exams. I want my As but i feel so unmotivated after being slapped around for all my presentations and quizzes and whatnots. Haiz. i dunno. I sometimes dun feel i'm in the right course. I like my examinable topics but i hate those bloody project-based thingy. Its just so dry and boring. HAHA. ok i know it should be the other way around but i feel like studying and reading and exams are more fun than projects and presentations. Its all so stupid. I know its to prepare us for the future lah, helps with our presentation and communication skills but it doesnt mean i have to like it right?
So yeah that's one thing i dun like right now. i just cant wait to graduate. i hope next semester would be more fun or something coz i'm getting bored.i should work hard for the three papers to redeem myself atleast. Cs are unbearable.
The Blue man's still depressed. But my gut feeling was right.
a) he's stuck in the past [ex gf kinda past]
b) he's more emotional(unstable) than me
[uhuh! exactly. who can be more emotionally unstable than me??]
c) for a dude he's impractical.
d) he's actually arrogant
(not like verbally or through his actions, but through his opinions and mentality. yes i i mean it although i know one factor affects the other..)
e) i'm bored of plastic perfection
Blondie on the other hand... he's loads of happy things. Which confuses me happily.
a) he's not past-talking
b) laugh and makes me laugh over i dunno what
c) he's sickeningly simple-minded (too, very much) but that makes him practical. he misses? he calls. and call and call till he gets through.
d) he's humble but hmmm..
e) i'm dealing with the imperfection. its like a breathe of fresh air sometimes.
Backstabber dude is happily attached.
a) he's always buih-ing ppl
b) great conversationalist
c) lies
d) i think he secretly caused a lot of friendship problems
e) i'm actually happier without a fren like him
ive got no idea why i even bother to include him in my blog lah. but well just because i feel like disliking him alot today. haha.
i vote for blondie as my happy pill.
i'm talking five years later and thats why i must work my way through.
achieve wad i can and hopefully be a better person.
is this wad it means accepting someone as he is?
i dunno whack. but hmmm i'm positive it would be ok anyway. :)
i miss the sunrise phonecall.
love,
sunshine.
8.18.2008
Far's Birthday 2008
THE DAY STARTED WITH ME GOING OVER TO HER PLACE TO FETCH MY PRINCESS.
THE TRAIN RIDE
OUR FIRST ROUND OF FOOD
OUR SECOND ROUND OF FOOD. AHA. SHE'S CONFUSED OVER WHAT TO EAT.
COFFEE TIME! BY THE FOUNTAIN.
SHE SAID I WAS LOUSY AT IMITATING PEOPLE!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I HOPE YOU HAD FUN! LETS WORK TOWARDS OUR BIRTHDAY WISHES AND 18TH YEAR RESOLUTION! ALL DA BEST IN EVERYTHING YOU SET YOUR HEART TO! :)
LOADS OF HUGS!
LOVE,
SUNSHINE
THE TRAIN RIDE
OUR FIRST ROUND OF FOOD
OUR SECOND ROUND OF FOOD. AHA. SHE'S CONFUSED OVER WHAT TO EAT.
COFFEE TIME! BY THE FOUNTAIN.
SHE SAID I WAS LOUSY AT IMITATING PEOPLE!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I HOPE YOU HAD FUN! LETS WORK TOWARDS OUR BIRTHDAY WISHES AND 18TH YEAR RESOLUTION! ALL DA BEST IN EVERYTHING YOU SET YOUR HEART TO! :)
LOADS OF HUGS!
LOVE,
SUNSHINE
18 Far
hello good morning!
guess who's birthday??
heeeheeks!
HAPPY Birthday Darling!
--------------------------
I just need to blog before i start getting ready for today's events.
Oh no. I cant remember what i wanted to blog about.
Hmmmmmmmmm.
Maybe i can start off by saying i miss hashima.
haha. I think i have been giving her shocking news like non-stop for
a few days and i shall stop today because
i dun want her to have a heart attack.
see that's why i love her,
she can still get shocked by the things i say or do
after our 11 year long relationship. haha.
Today i feel like my world is at its place.
everything seemed like they are at where they were supposed to be.
Thank you Allah.
i feel so lucky.
he came back didn't he?
Everything at the right speed.
I think i am actually surprised.
HAHA. i dunno.
I mean i just didnt expect this.
being the emo-less machine that i am, i dun realise i am shocked
till like a few seconds ago.
hehe
Elevated my status.
wow.
Anw perfect guy is not so perfect anymore..
hmmmmmm..
I guess i'm just not a good friend anymore.
I just cannot stand people who's forever sad, yet hiding in
what they themselves call a happy facade or front or shell or whatever.
I think if you're sad, then feel sad.
After that you pick yourself up.
And i realised how strong my girlfriends are right now.
They can cry buckets yet they pick themselves up faster and better.
I think its depressing to be around people who continuously
get stuck in the past.
I caN be going through alot,
yet these sad people always seemed more problematic.
kan pelik tu.
But wow.
Really makes me salute my gfs for all the hell they've been through.
but at the same time,
i hope perfect guy be strong, have faith and remain humble.
Maybe its just me getting bored quickly when it comes to the opposite sex.
who knows?
-----
i gotta run!
I really hope everybuddy will have a good day today :)
"Morning sunshine :)"
Feels like home.
Love,
Sunshine
guess who's birthday??
heeeheeks!
HAPPY Birthday Darling!
--------------------------
I just need to blog before i start getting ready for today's events.
Oh no. I cant remember what i wanted to blog about.
Hmmmmmmmmm.
Maybe i can start off by saying i miss hashima.
haha. I think i have been giving her shocking news like non-stop for
a few days and i shall stop today because
i dun want her to have a heart attack.
see that's why i love her,
she can still get shocked by the things i say or do
after our 11 year long relationship. haha.
Today i feel like my world is at its place.
everything seemed like they are at where they were supposed to be.
Thank you Allah.
i feel so lucky.
he came back didn't he?
Everything at the right speed.
I think i am actually surprised.
HAHA. i dunno.
I mean i just didnt expect this.
being the emo-less machine that i am, i dun realise i am shocked
till like a few seconds ago.
hehe
Elevated my status.
wow.
Anw perfect guy is not so perfect anymore..
hmmmmmm..
I guess i'm just not a good friend anymore.
I just cannot stand people who's forever sad, yet hiding in
what they themselves call a happy facade or front or shell or whatever.
I think if you're sad, then feel sad.
After that you pick yourself up.
And i realised how strong my girlfriends are right now.
They can cry buckets yet they pick themselves up faster and better.
I think its depressing to be around people who continuously
get stuck in the past.
I caN be going through alot,
yet these sad people always seemed more problematic.
kan pelik tu.
But wow.
Really makes me salute my gfs for all the hell they've been through.
but at the same time,
i hope perfect guy be strong, have faith and remain humble.
Maybe its just me getting bored quickly when it comes to the opposite sex.
who knows?
-----
i gotta run!
I really hope everybuddy will have a good day today :)
"Morning sunshine :)"
Feels like home.
Love,
Sunshine
8.17.2008
Nisfu Syaaban
Just to share what i've learnt today.
Tanda2 kecil kiamat
1)Berlakunya kemelesetan (ekonomi)
2)Orang-orang alim lari ke bukit
3)Orang-orang kaya berhutang
4)Wanita dilantik menjadi ketua negara
5)Umat saling kutuk-mengutuk
6)Salam hanya diucap kepada orang yang dikenali sahaja
7)Orang2 zalim menjadi pemimpin yang ditaati
8)Lahirnya persatuan buruh
9)Terbinanya bangunan tinggi & canggih
10)Semakin banyak anak2 yang menderhaka dengan orang tuanya
11)Maikn ramai wanita yang lebih gemar mandulkan diri
12)Wanita2 lebih gemar mendedahkan auratnya
13)Berlakunya homoseks
14)Ibu2 sanjung anak
15)Ayah merogol anak sendiri
16)Gerak gempa di mana2
Tanda2 Besar Kiamat
1)Lahirnya* imam mahdi
2)Keluar dajjal
3)Turunnya Nabi Isa A.s
4)Lahirnya* Ya'juj dan Ma'juj
5)Kaabah diruntuhkan
6)Matahari terbit dari sebelah barat
7)Asap di merata-rata tempat
8)Al-quran diangkat
9)Tiupan Sangkakala yang pertama
*note that "lahirnya" in this case does not only mean birth.
Semoga dirahmati dan diampuni segala dosa.
Amin.
--------------------------
wad is this feeling?
Love,
Sunshine
Tanda2 kecil kiamat
1)Berlakunya kemelesetan (ekonomi)
2)Orang-orang alim lari ke bukit
3)Orang-orang kaya berhutang
4)Wanita dilantik menjadi ketua negara
5)Umat saling kutuk-mengutuk
6)Salam hanya diucap kepada orang yang dikenali sahaja
7)Orang2 zalim menjadi pemimpin yang ditaati
8)Lahirnya persatuan buruh
9)Terbinanya bangunan tinggi & canggih
10)Semakin banyak anak2 yang menderhaka dengan orang tuanya
11)Maikn ramai wanita yang lebih gemar mandulkan diri
12)Wanita2 lebih gemar mendedahkan auratnya
13)Berlakunya homoseks
14)Ibu2 sanjung anak
15)Ayah merogol anak sendiri
16)Gerak gempa di mana2
Tanda2 Besar Kiamat
1)Lahirnya* imam mahdi
2)Keluar dajjal
3)Turunnya Nabi Isa A.s
4)Lahirnya* Ya'juj dan Ma'juj
5)Kaabah diruntuhkan
6)Matahari terbit dari sebelah barat
7)Asap di merata-rata tempat
8)Al-quran diangkat
9)Tiupan Sangkakala yang pertama
*note that "lahirnya" in this case does not only mean birth.
Semoga dirahmati dan diampuni segala dosa.
Amin.
--------------------------
wad is this feeling?
Love,
Sunshine
8.16.2008
8.15.2008
its so good when its wrong
hey baby.
today i met up with fong for decan revision.
Damn we're lousy at revision.
but its always fun to be with her :)
I cant wait for mOnday to come.
Dress and Heels and i'll be good to go!
PHIWWIt!
i hope it wud be fun fun fun.
Wad should i do now?
Should i clean up my messy room?
or play game?
haha.
Walls Up.
"Afternoon la Sayang."
AAARGH! Run sofia RUN!
Love,
Sunshine
today i met up with fong for decan revision.
Damn we're lousy at revision.
but its always fun to be with her :)
I cant wait for mOnday to come.
Dress and Heels and i'll be good to go!
PHIWWIt!
i hope it wud be fun fun fun.
Wad should i do now?
Should i clean up my messy room?
or play game?
haha.
Walls Up.
"Afternoon la Sayang."
AAARGH! Run sofia RUN!
Love,
Sunshine
Deviant Paths- Strain Theory
might have been the song,
might have been the drama.
brought me to this talk of my love story.
~ before that, can somebody please stop all these air pollution!!!
ok, done. ~
ehem ehem.
What love story? haha.
I dun have any right now.
Other than the past the past the past.
But what is this state of confusion i'm in?
To have already found someone who matches with what i've been looking for,
and not be confident of falling in love;
To have met someone who goes haywire all over, so unsure yet always there,
and feeling like i could fall in love anytime..
Yet and Therefore i am impossibly in love with none.
haha.
Yeah it is not compulsory to fall in love.
I'm just afraid that this is for real, forever.
I have labeled IT as unnecessary and i'm only 18!
I'm not hopeful, not feeling the sparks,
or if i feel the sparks, its at the wrong places..
I'm just so confused.
In the end i know things are meant to be exactly as it is.
But what if i choose to defy?
What if i want someone to make me feel more alive?
Alot of people are complaining about how life is unfair.
Or how stagnant life is. [ok i'm in this category sometimes]
Or wadeva it is that is negative about life.
life tu nikmat seh.
Anugerah. learn to be thankful.
My life is great. The people i communicate with are great.
BUt me?
I'm not.
I'm forever stuck in many many dimensions, many many time frames.
i KEEP QUESTIONING THE CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYTHING i should or should not do/think/say.
Moral Dilemma.
For everything.
It doesnt help to be reminded i'm paranoid lah, whiny lah, low self-esteem lah.
That's not the problem you dumbdumb.
its MORAL DILEMMA.
Because i grew up in this stinking society that has norms which are really silly, i'm under constant pressure to conform to their style and expectations and whatnot. Even when it comes to how i'm supposed to feel because of certain events.
BUT I ACTUALLY DO NOT FEEL LIKE FEELING LIKE HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO!!!!
or behaving for that matter.
URGH. gosh I'm a hater. HAHA.
But i'm very positive about life too.
About me.
About the things and people around me.
I'm positive.
I have faith and I'm freaking happy.
I'm not putting fronts ok.
When I'm confused i let people know i'm confused at the time.
When i'm sad, i frown or talk in a different tone of voice or whatever.
When i'm angry, i either talk it out or give a finger or frown or whatever.
I'd hate it if people go thinking, "oh, she's putting a tough front. deep down she got shitloads of problems." I'm tough and i do have shitloads of problems. I dun have to put a front. I'm not afraid to show my emotional weakness like you damnit!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M NOT CRYING OR BLOWING TOPS??
BECAUSE I DUN FEEL LIKE IT!!!
its just sad to see the extend people go through to cover up what's obvious.
Let's all pick our own crap and clean ourlseves from these bad vibes.
OHM.
BE POSITIVE!
I dun like it how stuck we human beings are,
stuck in our pasts,
going to the what should have beens, what could have beens.
ANd i just cant run away from it.
Its a little of me actually and alot from these people i meet.
--------
i bet by now you're more confused about thing than i am.
up there^ its just 1/10000000000000 thoughts that are running inside my system every single minute. just a let-->out.
final say though: we are allowed to be different. especially me.
i've always dreamt of this coversation..
"are you racist?"
"yes i am."
"against wad group of people?"
"against ex-girlfriends."
sunshine says good night.
might have been the drama.
brought me to this talk of my love story.
~ before that, can somebody please stop all these air pollution!!!
ok, done. ~
ehem ehem.
What love story? haha.
I dun have any right now.
Other than the past the past the past.
But what is this state of confusion i'm in?
To have already found someone who matches with what i've been looking for,
and not be confident of falling in love;
To have met someone who goes haywire all over, so unsure yet always there,
and feeling like i could fall in love anytime..
Yet and Therefore i am impossibly in love with none.
haha.
Yeah it is not compulsory to fall in love.
I'm just afraid that this is for real, forever.
I have labeled IT as unnecessary and i'm only 18!
I'm not hopeful, not feeling the sparks,
or if i feel the sparks, its at the wrong places..
I'm just so confused.
In the end i know things are meant to be exactly as it is.
But what if i choose to defy?
What if i want someone to make me feel more alive?
Alot of people are complaining about how life is unfair.
Or how stagnant life is. [ok i'm in this category sometimes]
Or wadeva it is that is negative about life.
life tu nikmat seh.
Anugerah. learn to be thankful.
My life is great. The people i communicate with are great.
BUt me?
I'm not.
I'm forever stuck in many many dimensions, many many time frames.
i KEEP QUESTIONING THE CONSEQUENCES OF EVERYTHING i should or should not do/think/say.
Moral Dilemma.
For everything.
It doesnt help to be reminded i'm paranoid lah, whiny lah, low self-esteem lah.
That's not the problem you dumbdumb.
its MORAL DILEMMA.
Because i grew up in this stinking society that has norms which are really silly, i'm under constant pressure to conform to their style and expectations and whatnot. Even when it comes to how i'm supposed to feel because of certain events.
BUT I ACTUALLY DO NOT FEEL LIKE FEELING LIKE HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO!!!!
or behaving for that matter.
URGH. gosh I'm a hater. HAHA.
But i'm very positive about life too.
About me.
About the things and people around me.
I'm positive.
I have faith and I'm freaking happy.
I'm not putting fronts ok.
When I'm confused i let people know i'm confused at the time.
When i'm sad, i frown or talk in a different tone of voice or whatever.
When i'm angry, i either talk it out or give a finger or frown or whatever.
I'd hate it if people go thinking, "oh, she's putting a tough front. deep down she got shitloads of problems." I'm tough and i do have shitloads of problems. I dun have to put a front. I'm not afraid to show my emotional weakness like you damnit!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M NOT CRYING OR BLOWING TOPS??
BECAUSE I DUN FEEL LIKE IT!!!
its just sad to see the extend people go through to cover up what's obvious.
Let's all pick our own crap and clean ourlseves from these bad vibes.
OHM.
BE POSITIVE!
I dun like it how stuck we human beings are,
stuck in our pasts,
going to the what should have beens, what could have beens.
ANd i just cant run away from it.
Its a little of me actually and alot from these people i meet.
--------
i bet by now you're more confused about thing than i am.
up there^ its just 1/10000000000000 thoughts that are running inside my system every single minute. just a let-->out.
final say though: we are allowed to be different. especially me.
i've always dreamt of this coversation..
"are you racist?"
"yes i am."
"against wad group of people?"
"against ex-girlfriends."
sunshine says good night.
8.14.2008
The Man Disease
i just find it weird that i date guys with this same symptoms:
1) vain. hahaha. ok in nicer terms well groomed.
2) tall. (except for one. HAh)
3) multi-talented.
4) comes in half my size.
5) plays golf. lifestyle or occasionally.
6) slightly well-to-do
7) doest sleep or sleep ultra late like me (except for one. HAh)
8) has younger sibling/s (except for one. HAh)
9) pretty hands [??!!#%$$&!!.. yeah]
^except for one is the same person.
i shall expand my horizons.
maybe like get someone who has a mole on his hand or elbow or something.
HAHAHAHAHA.
oklah today i was supposed to blog about the end of socio lessons and how sad i actually am that its over even though i went "HELL YEAH!" to kas after the presentation. BUT i'm lazy to put pictures or type out happy sad stories. hahaa. So i shall postpone.
HAHAHHAHAHHA. mole on the hands or elbow!! AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAA.
ok, off now.
love,
Sunshine
1) vain. hahaha. ok in nicer terms well groomed.
2) tall. (except for one. HAh)
3) multi-talented.
4) comes in half my size.
5) plays golf. lifestyle or occasionally.
6) slightly well-to-do
7) doest sleep or sleep ultra late like me (except for one. HAh)
8) has younger sibling/s (except for one. HAh)
9) pretty hands [??!!#%$$&!!.. yeah]
^except for one is the same person.
i shall expand my horizons.
maybe like get someone who has a mole on his hand or elbow or something.
HAHAHAHAHA.
oklah today i was supposed to blog about the end of socio lessons and how sad i actually am that its over even though i went "HELL YEAH!" to kas after the presentation. BUT i'm lazy to put pictures or type out happy sad stories. hahaa. So i shall postpone.
HAHAHHAHAHHA. mole on the hands or elbow!! AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAA.
ok, off now.
love,
Sunshine
8.13.2008
8.12.2008
Bad Woman.. oops.. Dream
ok so i've changed the awful green to yellow.
now it looks more like me.
haha.
i knew i said the wrong things yesterday.
i had the worst dream this year that i could not wake up from.
being bitched about and played the fool through the phone
by a girl is sure not a fun experience.
i almost cried.
Damn i hate that woman.
I dun even know her name other than the nick in my dream.
NANA.
wad?!
yeah i dunno lah.
(to the only nana i know do not be offended)
Evil vile woman who picks up my call everytime i tried to call blondie.
This of course is a punishment for me because:
1) i didnt call blondie back even though i promised
2) i said stupid things on my blog
3) i just dunno why ok.
Will be going to school for revision i think.
yay finally sent my slides over.
shall try to complete my individual project.
i'm still disturbed by that dream although i couldnt remember what she said.
but i know it wasnt very nice.
i woke up, thanking god that dreams are just dreams and
i'm not on the phone.
I hate that woman.. EEYEE!
sekali she is the same person me and azriyan saw in the mrt.
must be...
i should have believed him abt not being able to sleep peacefully..
sheesh.. haha.
gtg
love,
Sunshine
now it looks more like me.
haha.
i knew i said the wrong things yesterday.
i had the worst dream this year that i could not wake up from.
being bitched about and played the fool through the phone
by a girl is sure not a fun experience.
i almost cried.
Damn i hate that woman.
I dun even know her name other than the nick in my dream.
NANA.
wad?!
yeah i dunno lah.
(to the only nana i know do not be offended)
Evil vile woman who picks up my call everytime i tried to call blondie.
This of course is a punishment for me because:
1) i didnt call blondie back even though i promised
2) i said stupid things on my blog
3) i just dunno why ok.
Will be going to school for revision i think.
yay finally sent my slides over.
shall try to complete my individual project.
i'm still disturbed by that dream although i couldnt remember what she said.
but i know it wasnt very nice.
i woke up, thanking god that dreams are just dreams and
i'm not on the phone.
I hate that woman.. EEYEE!
sekali she is the same person me and azriyan saw in the mrt.
must be...
i should have believed him abt not being able to sleep peacefully..
sheesh.. haha.
gtg
love,
Sunshine
8.11.2008
Back at 1
Halo.
it feels chrismasy dont ya think?
i woke up grumpy today.
but happy.
i dunno how it can go together.
but yeah.
du mind me today i've got only mundane things to talk about.
HAHA. ok mundane things are common in my blog entries.
i know i know.
just that today the mundane has been up-ped one level.
-------------
talking to him is so weird you know.
i dunno why i'm still having jitters.
i'm not angry or sad or happy.
but i laugh and smile when i speak to him.
after that i will end up talking to my gf or sister
and make a big fuss about talking to him.
Kan macam bodoh gitu. HAhaha.
our conversations has not exactly improved.
eh actually it has.
we are less tensed and always cheerful with each other.
just updating each other with the "how've you been"s
i guess we are happier without being too attached to each other.
seemed as though the once a fortnight phone calls are
sufficient to tie us together as whatever we are now.
phone buddies i guess.
i admit i still smile like a small girl
everytime he says he misses me.
Maybe he's part of the little things in life.
In mine.
A complicated friendship like this should never have worked.
But it works for someone complicated like me.
Life.
I should tell blondie to change for the better.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA.
like for instance no blonde hair.
and stop clubbing/drinking/smoking/flirting/sleeping
and start praying/working/getting a life/saving
If blondie changes for the better,
falls in love with me for real,
i'll marry the dude, crazy and all.
hahaha. yeah right. shimi's and far's and fong's gonna puke.
but just saying.
haiz..
hearing southpark or simpsons through the phone sounds good.
it feels chrismasy dont ya think?
i woke up grumpy today.
but happy.
i dunno how it can go together.
but yeah.
du mind me today i've got only mundane things to talk about.
HAHA. ok mundane things are common in my blog entries.
i know i know.
just that today the mundane has been up-ped one level.
-------------
talking to him is so weird you know.
i dunno why i'm still having jitters.
i'm not angry or sad or happy.
but i laugh and smile when i speak to him.
after that i will end up talking to my gf or sister
and make a big fuss about talking to him.
Kan macam bodoh gitu. HAhaha.
our conversations has not exactly improved.
eh actually it has.
we are less tensed and always cheerful with each other.
just updating each other with the "how've you been"s
i guess we are happier without being too attached to each other.
seemed as though the once a fortnight phone calls are
sufficient to tie us together as whatever we are now.
phone buddies i guess.
i admit i still smile like a small girl
everytime he says he misses me.
Maybe he's part of the little things in life.
In mine.
A complicated friendship like this should never have worked.
But it works for someone complicated like me.
Life.
I should tell blondie to change for the better.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA.
like for instance no blonde hair.
and stop clubbing/drinking/smoking/flirting/sleeping
and start praying/working/getting a life/saving
If blondie changes for the better,
falls in love with me for real,
i'll marry the dude, crazy and all.
hahaha. yeah right. shimi's and far's and fong's gonna puke.
but just saying.
haiz..
hearing southpark or simpsons through the phone sounds good.
Cinderelly Story
Hello loves.
Hmm today [being 10th august]
i basically had quite a simple day.
I went for madrasah and got tested on surah Abbasaa.
Which i think went perfectly well.
first time i didnt rush through and sounded ultra calm.
HAHA
Then i got home.
Me and mum and daddy had satay and fries.
Its like having western malay for lunch.
{???}
I suddenly felt like i was having fever so
i slept for two hours then azriyan msged.
So we went to city hall.
WE WERE IN THE SAME MRT LAH!
haha
Looked for his pullover.
The relief look is golden man.
#sigh of relief#
[hehe]
Went starbucks and started on our socio project.
On a sunday.
haha
loser.
-----------
Now if you're wondering wtf cinderelly story is all about..
well hmm i dunno i guess i alighted from my bus
exactly at midnight so yeah.
N after which i recalled the times when daddy
called me her little princess.
[aww!]
HAHA.
yeah i know very corny.
-----------
I want to sing the "Sign sealed delievered i'm yours"
again and again and again.
----------
Dearest Shimi,
When you need a punching bag full of coffee frappucino,
I'm here.
Love,
Sunshine :)
Hmm today [being 10th august]
i basically had quite a simple day.
I went for madrasah and got tested on surah Abbasaa.
Which i think went perfectly well.
first time i didnt rush through and sounded ultra calm.
HAHA
Then i got home.
Me and mum and daddy had satay and fries.
Its like having western malay for lunch.
{???}
I suddenly felt like i was having fever so
i slept for two hours then azriyan msged.
So we went to city hall.
WE WERE IN THE SAME MRT LAH!
haha
Looked for his pullover.
The relief look is golden man.
#sigh of relief#
[hehe]
Went starbucks and started on our socio project.
On a sunday.
haha
loser.
-----------
Now if you're wondering wtf cinderelly story is all about..
well hmm i dunno i guess i alighted from my bus
exactly at midnight so yeah.
N after which i recalled the times when daddy
called me her little princess.
[aww!]
HAHA.
yeah i know very corny.
-----------
I want to sing the "Sign sealed delievered i'm yours"
again and again and again.
----------
Dearest Shimi,
When you need a punching bag full of coffee frappucino,
I'm here.
Love,
Sunshine :)
8.09.2008
This week
Hello.
I'm writing this entry with the company of Ito-san here:
Adorable little thing.
And that means alot coming from someone who's not an animal lover.
I tried again today to communicate with Ito-san.
I told rabbit and albino that Ito only responds to my voice but doesn't reply me.
I said "must be my Malay. all the guys i know thinks my Malay is funny."
and then i got to know two different facts from them.
Fact #1: albino said "Ito is gay."
can you imagine that? my first gay family member is a hamster.
Fact #2: rabbit said "doszey[Ito's first name] doesn't talk. stop talking to that hamster like that. hamsters don't talk. Cats do."
Now i get it.
HAHAHAhAHHAHA.
----------------------------------
I just thought that this was ironic So i posted it here.
YEAH RIGHT!
-----------------------------------
This woman had been very helpful during this week.
I made her in-charge of all group activities,
despite her complaining how tough it was being leader for all projects,
she carried out her tasks well and I'm proud of her.
-------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
My Thursday,
Ting treated us lunch.
In this picture, he' basically caught in the act of helping others.
He's really a cool dude.
The girls.
I'm so so so grateful that we are constantly growing as group and getting to know each other better as we go along. Thanks for all your hard work. we shall continue to work hard for our upcoming projects. Insyallah.
After lunch we went for Starbucks. And we saw the cutest thing ever.
HAHA.
I sound different dont i? saying things like that about kids...
I went to rabbit's place and made mini cupcakes.
I watched tv for while then went over to cik som's place for kenduri tahlil.
-------------------------------------------------------
My Friday:
BORDERS BOOK FAIR!
------------------------------------
My Saturday:
I woke up when i heard my doorbell ring.
It was hashima, in white with loads of Starbucks love.
How can i not love that woman?
Mum came back with daddy right after that.
I helped her clean the kitchen and then went online to see KevJumba videos.
After that i got ready to send food over to rabbit's place.
So here i am sitting in front of my old lappy as i blog and watch Ito-san eat cake.
That he-she eats anything everything except for kuachi.
weird hamster. fruits, cake[yes the mini cupcakes i made], biscuits....
And cakes made Ito-san drunk or something.. he-she climbed the caged and hanged upside down like a bat.
sheesh.
oh and its national day!
happy 43rd!
-------------------------------
To all my well-wishers, thanks for all your warmth and love.
I truly appreciate it.
I have gotten better even though sometimes feel like i hurt somewhere.
But you know its normal.
I'm sorry for being absent and not there for you for the last few days.
But my hotlines are opened now.
Call or sms or email or anything me if you need me.
Everything happens for a reason.
It wouldn't rain forever. :)
Love,
Sunshine
I'm writing this entry with the company of Ito-san here:
Adorable little thing.
And that means alot coming from someone who's not an animal lover.
I tried again today to communicate with Ito-san.
I told rabbit and albino that Ito only responds to my voice but doesn't reply me.
I said "must be my Malay. all the guys i know thinks my Malay is funny."
and then i got to know two different facts from them.
Fact #1: albino said "Ito is gay."
can you imagine that? my first gay family member is a hamster.
Fact #2: rabbit said "doszey[Ito's first name] doesn't talk. stop talking to that hamster like that. hamsters don't talk. Cats do."
Now i get it.
HAHAHAhAHHAHA.
----------------------------------
I just thought that this was ironic So i posted it here.
YEAH RIGHT!
-----------------------------------
This woman had been very helpful during this week.
I made her in-charge of all group activities,
despite her complaining how tough it was being leader for all projects,
she carried out her tasks well and I'm proud of her.
-------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
My Thursday,
Ting treated us lunch.
In this picture, he' basically caught in the act of helping others.
He's really a cool dude.
The girls.
I'm so so so grateful that we are constantly growing as group and getting to know each other better as we go along. Thanks for all your hard work. we shall continue to work hard for our upcoming projects. Insyallah.
After lunch we went for Starbucks. And we saw the cutest thing ever.
HAHA.
I sound different dont i? saying things like that about kids...
I went to rabbit's place and made mini cupcakes.
I watched tv for while then went over to cik som's place for kenduri tahlil.
-------------------------------------------------------
My Friday:
BORDERS BOOK FAIR!
------------------------------------
My Saturday:
I woke up when i heard my doorbell ring.
It was hashima, in white with loads of Starbucks love.
How can i not love that woman?
Mum came back with daddy right after that.
I helped her clean the kitchen and then went online to see KevJumba videos.
After that i got ready to send food over to rabbit's place.
So here i am sitting in front of my old lappy as i blog and watch Ito-san eat cake.
That he-she eats anything everything except for kuachi.
weird hamster. fruits, cake[yes the mini cupcakes i made], biscuits....
And cakes made Ito-san drunk or something.. he-she climbed the caged and hanged upside down like a bat.
sheesh.
oh and its national day!
happy 43rd!
-------------------------------
To all my well-wishers, thanks for all your warmth and love.
I truly appreciate it.
I have gotten better even though sometimes feel like i hurt somewhere.
But you know its normal.
I'm sorry for being absent and not there for you for the last few days.
But my hotlines are opened now.
Call or sms or email or anything me if you need me.
Everything happens for a reason.
It wouldn't rain forever. :)
Love,
Sunshine
Angels In Disguise
You may look like a simple friend that comes to me,
But in truth you are an angel that has been sent to me.
Oh why am i so fortunate?
I'm so thankful for the everyday gifts,
of knowing you were there,
of knowing that you'll be there,
of knowing you are there,
of knowing you are still there.
After days and weeks and months and years passed by,
there's so much kindness and love that you share.
I dun see the ruffles in your wings,
no feathers and no wings,
things man always see in their angels.
i dun need to see the bright light shining over your head,
to see your perfection, the beauty in your heart.
You glow from within,
compassion set afree.
In this battle i fight,
you have been my peace and my calm.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Hashima.
8.08.2008
8.06.2008
More Than Words
Hello dearest,
I am currently sleeping over at rabbit's place with planet. Ito-san a.k.a doszey is still shy with me. I tried communicating with her. but i guess she speaks english better than malay. :) pictures tmr when i get better.
life ha been tough for met these few weeks.
I'm fighting with my inner self, just to pull through for my final project tmr. After that you can expect loads of starbucks and stoning from me. I really feel the need for time and space.
I am thankful to god for everything that has happned. it widened my perspective to life and the uncountable times it made me realise how short and temporary life is. It makes me appreciate life and everyone that has been in it. I feel like i can no longer feel regret over what has been done. But instead concentrate on what i can do to be a better person.
Siapa tuhan kamu?
Siapa nabi kamu?
Di mana qiblat mu?
Apakah imammu?
Apakah agamamu?
Siapakah saudaramu?
I know no matter what, its not enough. I've wasted alot of time on nothingness. sofia, time to wake up.
Today is 6Th August 2008. Its been a year exactly since we last met. Things definitely have changed. But so have i. N i begin to understand that things are fine the way they already are. Fate? Today even though i feel the sense of loss, i dun feel angry or hurt over what has happened. I finally accepted that thing were meant to be exactly like it is... Maybe i have fully forgiven? i dunno. Forgiveness.. wad a word. I've actually accepted the two people back i thought i never would. I have faith that the steps i take are true and wise.
Love takes on so many form.
my dad is my strength, my mum my weakness.
planet is my motivation, rabbit my humility.
just in case i never tell you enough,
i love you.
the so many challenges...
Strength and faith.
I know i will get through this anyway.
Haha. So arrogant lor.
smiles,
Sunshine
I am currently sleeping over at rabbit's place with planet. Ito-san a.k.a doszey is still shy with me. I tried communicating with her. but i guess she speaks english better than malay. :) pictures tmr when i get better.
life ha been tough for met these few weeks.
I'm fighting with my inner self, just to pull through for my final project tmr. After that you can expect loads of starbucks and stoning from me. I really feel the need for time and space.
I am thankful to god for everything that has happned. it widened my perspective to life and the uncountable times it made me realise how short and temporary life is. It makes me appreciate life and everyone that has been in it. I feel like i can no longer feel regret over what has been done. But instead concentrate on what i can do to be a better person.
Siapa tuhan kamu?
Siapa nabi kamu?
Di mana qiblat mu?
Apakah imammu?
Apakah agamamu?
Siapakah saudaramu?
I know no matter what, its not enough. I've wasted alot of time on nothingness. sofia, time to wake up.
Today is 6Th August 2008. Its been a year exactly since we last met. Things definitely have changed. But so have i. N i begin to understand that things are fine the way they already are. Fate? Today even though i feel the sense of loss, i dun feel angry or hurt over what has happened. I finally accepted that thing were meant to be exactly like it is... Maybe i have fully forgiven? i dunno. Forgiveness.. wad a word. I've actually accepted the two people back i thought i never would. I have faith that the steps i take are true and wise.
Love takes on so many form.
my dad is my strength, my mum my weakness.
planet is my motivation, rabbit my humility.
just in case i never tell you enough,
i love you.
the so many challenges...
Strength and faith.
I know i will get through this anyway.
Haha. So arrogant lor.
smiles,
Sunshine
8.05.2008
the Second
innalillah..
my aunt just passed away.
i finally broke down.
too much. all this is too much.
strength and faith.
gtg and get ready for the second funeral..
love,
Sunshine.
my aunt just passed away.
i finally broke down.
too much. all this is too much.
strength and faith.
gtg and get ready for the second funeral..
love,
Sunshine.
the present is a gift.
Have i told you how everyday my life comes up with a surprise waiting to spring unto me?
Monday was definitely one of the most challenging day....
first my presentation sucked big time. i love ms Sim but i felt like crying in front of my class during the question and answer session.
just when i thought life was going to be normal, i found out that rabbit was hospitalised.
worst, my uncle passed away.
i pray for strength..
strength to continue fighting this feeling of weakness that is threatening to consume me whole. I'm just so tired.. i almost feel like i cannot keep up with my own life. when in truth, i am the boss of my life.
i shall not give in.
its so sad, piercing deep within.
yet
i cannot cry.
I'm the caliph of my life,
sailing,
leading others,
motivating,
masking fears.
I'm the caliph of this life.
strength and faith
because the present is a gift.
love,
Sunshine
Monday was definitely one of the most challenging day....
first my presentation sucked big time. i love ms Sim but i felt like crying in front of my class during the question and answer session.
just when i thought life was going to be normal, i found out that rabbit was hospitalised.
worst, my uncle passed away.
i pray for strength..
strength to continue fighting this feeling of weakness that is threatening to consume me whole. I'm just so tired.. i almost feel like i cannot keep up with my own life. when in truth, i am the boss of my life.
i shall not give in.
its so sad, piercing deep within.
yet
i cannot cry.
I'm the caliph of my life,
sailing,
leading others,
motivating,
masking fears.
I'm the caliph of this life.
strength and faith
because the present is a gift.
love,
Sunshine
8.03.2008
Stand-still
HELL-low!
I am overweight today. HAHA. Not just with fats but with the tonnes of workshit i would have to do. Pun Intended everywhere in this post. HAha. I just need to let out a few things. So let's just proceed.
First UP.
Yesterday i had an outing with Far. Had a heart to heart with her ya know. And she taught me to take pictures of myself. HAHA. I'm so lousy lah. all the pictures senget one side. Wad to do, i just feel uncomfortable taking photos. Truth. We had doughnuts and Starbucks and everything fun. Sitting by the fountain. Listening to songs. planning our life together. Very cool stuff. Well just a few pictures to let y'all see.
My Darling, Farlina
ME trying to look like a tourist.
Smiles
Suck it in ladies... HAHAHAHA
CAught Off-guard photos
Our HAngout plAce...
I think this is one of the most beautiful pictures i have ever taken with dopod.
-----------------------------------------------------
Anyhoo..
hmmm.
i guess i have a lot of things to say.
But shall keep it to a minimum.
My past has been catching up on me.
I'm really running slow.
Its the little things in life that sometimes makes us be reminded how lucky we are to be alive on this earth. DUn let anyone take the good things away from you. HAve faith people, even when its getting tough. This applies even to me, who is being tested these few days by the thousand shocking things that have been occurring non-stop. Let's all face our inner battles with a strong heart. Let's stand by each other as we see our greatest foes fall: our fears, our anger, our disappointments, the aggravators, the losers, our sadness, our pain...
Stay positive, stay patient, stay motivated, stay calm. We'll be able to pull through.
----------------------------------------
Cheers to positivity.
I am overweight today. HAHA. Not just with fats but with the tonnes of workshit i would have to do. Pun Intended everywhere in this post. HAha. I just need to let out a few things. So let's just proceed.
First UP.
Yesterday i had an outing with Far. Had a heart to heart with her ya know. And she taught me to take pictures of myself. HAHA. I'm so lousy lah. all the pictures senget one side. Wad to do, i just feel uncomfortable taking photos. Truth. We had doughnuts and Starbucks and everything fun. Sitting by the fountain. Listening to songs. planning our life together. Very cool stuff. Well just a few pictures to let y'all see.
My Darling, Farlina
ME trying to look like a tourist.
Smiles
Suck it in ladies... HAHAHAHA
CAught Off-guard photos
Our HAngout plAce...
I think this is one of the most beautiful pictures i have ever taken with dopod.
-----------------------------------------------------
Anyhoo..
hmmm.
i guess i have a lot of things to say.
But shall keep it to a minimum.
My past has been catching up on me.
I'm really running slow.
Its the little things in life that sometimes makes us be reminded how lucky we are to be alive on this earth. DUn let anyone take the good things away from you. HAve faith people, even when its getting tough. This applies even to me, who is being tested these few days by the thousand shocking things that have been occurring non-stop. Let's all face our inner battles with a strong heart. Let's stand by each other as we see our greatest foes fall: our fears, our anger, our disappointments, the aggravators, the losers, our sadness, our pain...
Stay positive, stay patient, stay motivated, stay calm. We'll be able to pull through.
----------------------------------------
Cheers to positivity.
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