Cry "Wolf!"

hola love.

other than facing the moon-ly cycle,
hahah,
i find disguise the most complex thing in life.
[in case you still dun get it, its the wolf in sheep's clothing thing.]

you know how humans always say they take the many thousands form of disguise everyday of their lives.
partially true.
but i find it even more sad for those who actually has to work with a disguise on everytime.

straight drags, police undercover work, clowns, actors....
i cant imagine after months and months being in disguise,
i cant imagine how they are going to identify their true colours.
colours, such a powerful word.
split-up, they have to strip their personalities for work.
its so painful.

just saying.

these few days i have been feeling tired.
at first i thought of the emotional baggage but apparently not so.
physically, just physically itself i feel tired.
"hormones racing at the speed of light but that dun mean its gonna be tonight.."
that + the rush of things + mental stress.
i have alot things that i need to get done.
i'm suddenly running out of time for everything.
i try to get things organized but i still never fail to feel tired.
and
like i said decan sucks big time for me.
its not that i didnt study,
but i burnt my 75 marks because i interpret the questions wrongly.
its such a confidence-breaker.
i'm just compartmentalizing my fears into one part of my brain so that i can continue to work on my other subjects.
which i think isnt very successful because i just end up feeling sleepy and tired physically anyway.

on the other hand, i have managed to get my emotions checked and in place.
so i guess 1 good thing though.

the holiday.
i need my awaited sun-and-girlfriend therapy with far.
even the after-exams popeye date with fong sounds like heaven.
holiday: its a spell for many happy things.

talking about crying wolf!, i think the biggest lesson learnt is to not lie or break people's trust. its gets to you someday. and i think on my part i did that quite a bit and is filled with regret the times that i did break other people's trust. i think thats the reason why no matter what, i do trust people a little.

i dun really believe that you should make people earn your trust. but i believe that since you give to them willingly, they should not break it. its stupid to go "you should earn my trust and respect.." its given lah. hello what happen to human rights?? to have to earn it is only applicable when they have broken the first one. i think.

i just find it cruel to not trust or respect other people on first account. its just that after you get to know the people then you should decide how much or less to trust that someone.

practicing Basic Trust makes your life more worthwhile. trust me. haha.

Just a friend by Jay Sean

LYRICS:
Hold me
Both our bodies close together
Teasin' me
Let me get to know you better
Pains me
This chemistry between us, can't u see
But I guess you're not there for me

I can't take this no more
Baby close the door
There's somethin' you should know
What's been goin' on
It's messin' with my heart
I can't even start
To describe what I've been holdin' inside

Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
Yes, you'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
sometimes i wish i never met her at all
(really!)

Tell me
I gotta be tryna' make this thing alright
Can't be
if theyre makin' mistakes on all day, all night
Tellin' me
Cause I want you girl, hurts to know
That you're just too blind to see, Baby

I can't take this no more
Baby close the door
There's somethin' you should know
What's been goin' on
It's messin' with my heart
I can't even start
To describe what I've been holdin' inside

Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
Yes, you'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
sometimes i wish i never met her at all
(really!)

still i havent found a way to show my feelings for you
There were so pretty times that I thought you knew
Like a fool I've waitin' every time you take me back
And I feel the same way too

Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
You'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
Sometimes I wish I never matter at all
(really!)

Baby, don't you know
Don't you know what I've been tryin' to tell you

Chorus:
Cause she's just a friend
You'll never know
It's makin' it harder for me to let go
Cause she's just a friend
Yet, she'll never know
Sometimes I wish I never matter at all
(really!)

honestly, i think the lyrics are not excellent.
like incomplete gitu.
but it means something.

There's a dead end. yet i'm still smiling.

love,
Sunshine