Its all a lie.

Whenever he promised a happy ending its all always just a lie. Its so funny to see people come up with sad excuses to cover up for whatever deeper issues they have. What i dun understand is why you seek forgiveness and why is it always so easy to do so? How can he not feel worthless having to apologise continuously for the rest of his life simply because he didnt think it wise to change his behaviour? Tell me what have i done wrong? Why come back when all he does is leave. again. its so stupid. I feel so stupid. I'm so mad that in my toughest times, even my happiest, he's not there. he's not here. What's so difficult? My good results, my birthday, my sister's wedding, hari raya, our date anniversary, valentine's, my dad got hospitalized, my sis got hospitalized, my aunt and uncle passed away........on and on. i choke with semi-laughter and semi-sadness everytime he said he miss me because the whole world knows it just means he's leaving soon. he is so funny. All i think of right now is disgust, anger and alot of hurt.

Thanks for your kindness sayang.
didnt i used to say?