Exhaustion Babe.

It has been so cold the last few days.
A few cups of ice and i will need to sleep with a blanket on,
closed windows and off-ed fan.
Damn.
I miss sunshine.

It has come to a point where i just needed a break from life,
i want to sleep and pig out and be lazy the whole day.
tmr is my last paper for the week.
Still, it gives me the sudden feeling of extreme exhaustion.
Just the thought of it.
Because i know what's to come.
Loads of meetings school, social, family.
I'm not complaining or ungrateful but i'm tired.

i feel like i put a distance between me and fong at the moment.
Not because she hasnt been a loyal friend,
but i just feel smothered by everything, every event.
And i needed a different touch.
She reminds me of school so much.
But she melts my heart everytime she does something nice for me.
The little things.
It makes me not want to be angry and i appreciate it.

But i am very angy at everything that has happened to me.
On the night of eiduladha, i met up with shimi and had abt two hours
of catch up time.
It felt really good because she has been my bestfriend for more than half my life
and no matter how teared up we are, hard and difficult our lives had been for us,
we are always always able to laugh it off.

i think i've said in my previous entry how i'm seeing people's fucked up true colours.
what i didnt mention was that i saw mine too.
And sometimes i hate myself and question my own motives.
Does that make me a hypocrite? or is life just that complicated?

and oh a lot more money sure sounds good right for everyone.
Money makes the world upside down apparently.
its true.

OOh and i said a lot of "i dun care about her anymore" and went on to say "EH!" to a rude queue cutter at the immigration at johore. damned i've changed alot.

by the way sab shimi and J. i miss your girls. :)